09-02-2007 - EG >Scott Cochrane re: Prof. J. FURNELL Unprofessionalism!
Friday, 9 February 2007
Sunday, 10 September 2006
10-Sep-2006 - Prof. JRG Furnell REPORT
Astonishingly this man saw himself as morally and ethically fit to 'Report' on this matter in the light of the fact that he had accepted social hospitality from Hamish Grossart and his extended family, having his expenses paid to holiday with them in France!
One would have thought that an ethical man would have prorogued himself.
There are in fact two Reports.
The first report prepared by Furnell was late as would seem to be always in his case and he charged a further £4,000!
His excuse was that he had not typing capacity.
I checked with his secretary and she confirmed that he had not passed the document in.
Seemingly it was just a way of getting further funds.
There are many Sheriffs and lawyers and indeed other child psychologists who have intimated to me that he is just after the green money.
A further Supplementary report was prepared and I will email.
I gave you the letter which I wrote in strong terms to Scott Cochrane of Brodies stating my utter disgust that he did not act in an "independent' manner.
He went to France to interview the children and took hospitality from HG and the extended family! He interviewed the grandparents, the aunt and half sisters. He however did not accord the same respect towards me.
He came to interview on three separate occasions each time arriving 1hour, 2.5 and 3 hours late respectively. He did not interview any one except the Au Pair living with me at that time.
Grossly and disgustingly imbalanced and biased, in my opinion.
His manner towards me was unprofessional haughty, arrogant and quite frankly rude.
On his last visit to me when asked why he was late when he was only 10 minutes down the road he faked a demeaning "feint" that he should be asked.
His whole approach was seemingly offensive, unprofessional and indicated a fraudalent behaviour.
Regards
Elaine
Our Ref: JF/AW 10th September 2006
For the attention of: the Clerk of Court to Lord G. Glennie
The Court of Session
Parliament House
Edinburgh EH1 1RF
cc: For the attention of: G. Leonard Mair Esq.
Morton Fraser
Solicitors
30-31 Queen Street
Edinburgh EH2 1JX
cc: For the attention of: Scott Cochrane Esq.
Brodies
Solicitors
15 Atholl Crescent
Edinburgh EH3 8HA
Court of Session, Edinburgh
Elaine Rosalind MacKenzie Simpson or Grossart -v- Hamish Macleod Grossart
The Children: Ruairidh Sholto Grossart (d.o.b. 8th January 1998) and
Rosalind Sophie MacKenzie Grossart (d.o.b. 20th November 2000).
Court Reference: F72/06
This Report has been prepared in response to Court of Session Interlocutor dated 16th June 2006 which ..................
REMOVED at the request of the children's Mother out of concern for her two minor children and her ex-husband's two adult daughters, who she brought up from a very young age to relative maturity for her ex-husband as he had so damaged his first wife that the duty fell to his new partner.
One can see the same pattern being attempted here.
The malign and dishonest bullying and fear of losing control is not unusual in narcissism it seems.
This reaches, in some cases and this may prove to be one, the level where the Narcissistic Male in his gross insecurity and inadequacy takes the stance of 'if I can't have you no one will'.
This is the extreme manifestation seen in stalkers and particularly men without the moral fibre or strength of personality to cope with their rejection as they set out to destroy those who are unwilling to succumb to the control they determine to excercise.
Such behaviour is nothing more than a manifestation of evil hidden in braggadocio and determination to bend all to their will - in this case with willing lawyers all too willing to feather their nests the Father is determined to strip his wife of dignity, maternity, money and if he can achieve it again sanity!
Hamish Grossart is in my opinion a disgusting excrescence of a man - a total emotional failure incapable of standing on his own feet and within days of separation if not before seeking out his next victim - I regret I can see his latest marque Plum Sterling and her children as nothing more than his next victim in a trail of inadequacy that will continue until his decrepitude leaves him either with some sad woman he has bought or in abject isolation - rarely do the children of such unfortunates rally round seeing the loss of control as their long awaited liberty freeing them from the fear and hatred they have suffered all their lives!
Please be assured that Elaine Grossart hasn't a clue who is posting this blog and clearly she has made extensive efforts, including someone with IT skills who has charged for his services to identify the author.
Be assured there has been absolutely no visible effort on the part of Hamish Grossart to contact me, nor have any of the army of parasitic lawyers he employs to harrass his wife and children.
I do note as a result of one of my informants leaking material from his lawyer's offices (well where do you think I get much of this info!) I gather a main plank of the nasty little man's latest efforts to continue the damage to those who once upon a time respected him in his profligate and irresponsible, venal and vile abuse of the law to buy the result he wants making a mockery of Sheriffs, lawyers and the Courts and a farce of any meaning of the word Justice is to try to pretend that Elaine Grossart is responsible for this blog.
The logic being I presume that http://gross-art.blogspot.com/ is posted by Hamish Grossart because it is titled after him! One has to marvel at the buffoon's logic that he seeks to convince a Scotish Court that his pack of lies is true. Why would I not be surprised when he succeeds when it is so apparent Justice is no more than a commodity in Scotland where verdicts would seem to be bought and sold like Papal Pardons in return for the largesse of the corrupt Lawyers, Banks and Politicians with the £Millions so readily available over many years from corrupt bankers oils the entire Satanic horror show that is the arcane and malign mysogenistic and Masonic septic tank that is Scotland.
It may be apposite at this stage to ask how vermin like Hamish Grossart gain their power see: http??TheSSoE.blogspot.com and ponder the relationships shown and those yet to be exposed.
Explain perhaps how an affinity between Grossart and the apparently ignoble family bank can claim probity when their affilitations would seem to stretch from the now bankrupted RBS to such as financial advice seemingly given to Murray International who seemingly owna hugely indebted footbal team of little asset value and masquerade as steel stock holders - I say masquerade as it does look much as if one would need to bury Scotland knee deep in steel to justify what seems to be a BASE RATE fixed interest £1 Billion loan - I wonder if the fees garnered there would bear scrutiny or is this back to £Multi Million bankers' bonuses and how these charlatans steal the money!
I speak glibly of a £Billion!
A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A £Billion lent to a single firm with no visible substance to justify it from a bank that was bankrupted by the £Multi Millionaires in whose stewardship it was entrusted!
Do not overlook the irrefutable fact that Elaine Grossart was granted a divorce on the grounds of abuse, sexual assault, physical and mental abuse and much more damning evidence in the public domain - her divorce was against the vile, duplicitous, self serving, mean, bullying and narcissistic Hamish Grossart who is now BUYING the Courts with money defrauded from his ex-wife since he was penniless and borrowed money from her when they first met!
Do YOU believe that Hamish Grossart is a fit and proper person to be allowed to go amongst the public unsupervised let alone have custody at ANY time of young children - a man who it has been attested and accepted in Court beat his wife to the ground and urinated on her! A man who exposed himself erect and naked to his young daughter, a man who is a serial adulterter wife beater and abuser.
However much money this egregious piece of filth has should he be in a position to BUY his will from Courts corrupted by their deference to money, status, males and the Masons? I wonder howmany of the people in the Court will have a link and debt to each other through The Masons, The Spec. or similar I hazard a guess that Elaine Grossart will thus be clearly disadvantaged!
Filth like Hamish Grossart all too often are able gratuitously to abuse women and children as does Hamish Grossart.
One would have thought that an ethical man would have prorogued himself.
There are in fact two Reports.
The first report prepared by Furnell was late as would seem to be always in his case and he charged a further £4,000!
His excuse was that he had not typing capacity.
I checked with his secretary and she confirmed that he had not passed the document in.
Seemingly it was just a way of getting further funds.
There are many Sheriffs and lawyers and indeed other child psychologists who have intimated to me that he is just after the green money.
A further Supplementary report was prepared and I will email.
I gave you the letter which I wrote in strong terms to Scott Cochrane of Brodies stating my utter disgust that he did not act in an "independent' manner.
He went to France to interview the children and took hospitality from HG and the extended family! He interviewed the grandparents, the aunt and half sisters. He however did not accord the same respect towards me.
He came to interview on three separate occasions each time arriving 1hour, 2.5 and 3 hours late respectively. He did not interview any one except the Au Pair living with me at that time.
Grossly and disgustingly imbalanced and biased, in my opinion.
His manner towards me was unprofessional haughty, arrogant and quite frankly rude.
On his last visit to me when asked why he was late when he was only 10 minutes down the road he faked a demeaning "feint" that he should be asked.
His whole approach was seemingly offensive, unprofessional and indicated a fraudalent behaviour.
Regards
Elaine
Prof. James R. G. Furnell
M.A. D.C.P. Ph.D. LL.B. DIP. L.P. F.B.P.S. C.Psychol
Consultant Psychologist
Consulting at
Abbey King’s Park Hospital, Polmaise Road,
Stirling, FK7 9PU
Tel: 01786 451669 Fax: 01786 465296
Our Ref: JF/AW 10th September 2006
For the attention of: the Clerk of Court to Lord G. Glennie
The Court of Session
Parliament House
Edinburgh EH1 1RF
cc: For the attention of: G. Leonard Mair Esq.
Morton Fraser
Solicitors
30-31 Queen Street
Edinburgh EH2 1JX
cc: For the attention of: Scott Cochrane Esq.
Brodies
Solicitors
15 Atholl Crescent
Edinburgh EH3 8HA
Court of Session, Edinburgh
Elaine Rosalind MacKenzie Simpson or Grossart -v- Hamish Macleod Grossart
The Children: Ruairidh Sholto Grossart (d.o.b. 8th January 1998) and
Rosalind Sophie MacKenzie Grossart (d.o.b. 20th November 2000).
Court Reference: F72/06
This Report has been prepared in response to Court of Session Interlocutor dated 16th June 2006 which ..................
REMOVED at the request of the children's Mother out of concern for her two minor children and her ex-husband's two adult daughters, who she brought up from a very young age to relative maturity for her ex-husband as he had so damaged his first wife that the duty fell to his new partner.
One can see the same pattern being attempted here.
The malign and dishonest bullying and fear of losing control is not unusual in narcissism it seems.
This reaches, in some cases and this may prove to be one, the level where the Narcissistic Male in his gross insecurity and inadequacy takes the stance of 'if I can't have you no one will'.
This is the extreme manifestation seen in stalkers and particularly men without the moral fibre or strength of personality to cope with their rejection as they set out to destroy those who are unwilling to succumb to the control they determine to excercise.
Such behaviour is nothing more than a manifestation of evil hidden in braggadocio and determination to bend all to their will - in this case with willing lawyers all too willing to feather their nests the Father is determined to strip his wife of dignity, maternity, money and if he can achieve it again sanity!
Hamish Grossart is in my opinion a disgusting excrescence of a man - a total emotional failure incapable of standing on his own feet and within days of separation if not before seeking out his next victim - I regret I can see his latest marque Plum Sterling and her children as nothing more than his next victim in a trail of inadequacy that will continue until his decrepitude leaves him either with some sad woman he has bought or in abject isolation - rarely do the children of such unfortunates rally round seeing the loss of control as their long awaited liberty freeing them from the fear and hatred they have suffered all their lives!
Please be assured that Elaine Grossart hasn't a clue who is posting this blog and clearly she has made extensive efforts, including someone with IT skills who has charged for his services to identify the author.
Be assured there has been absolutely no visible effort on the part of Hamish Grossart to contact me, nor have any of the army of parasitic lawyers he employs to harrass his wife and children.
I do note as a result of one of my informants leaking material from his lawyer's offices (well where do you think I get much of this info!) I gather a main plank of the nasty little man's latest efforts to continue the damage to those who once upon a time respected him in his profligate and irresponsible, venal and vile abuse of the law to buy the result he wants making a mockery of Sheriffs, lawyers and the Courts and a farce of any meaning of the word Justice is to try to pretend that Elaine Grossart is responsible for this blog.
The logic being I presume that http://gross-art.blogspot.com/ is posted by Hamish Grossart because it is titled after him! One has to marvel at the buffoon's logic that he seeks to convince a Scotish Court that his pack of lies is true. Why would I not be surprised when he succeeds when it is so apparent Justice is no more than a commodity in Scotland where verdicts would seem to be bought and sold like Papal Pardons in return for the largesse of the corrupt Lawyers, Banks and Politicians with the £Millions so readily available over many years from corrupt bankers oils the entire Satanic horror show that is the arcane and malign mysogenistic and Masonic septic tank that is Scotland.
It may be apposite at this stage to ask how vermin like Hamish Grossart gain their power see: http??TheSSoE.blogspot.com and ponder the relationships shown and those yet to be exposed.
Explain perhaps how an affinity between Grossart and the apparently ignoble family bank can claim probity when their affilitations would seem to stretch from the now bankrupted RBS to such as financial advice seemingly given to Murray International who seemingly owna hugely indebted footbal team of little asset value and masquerade as steel stock holders - I say masquerade as it does look much as if one would need to bury Scotland knee deep in steel to justify what seems to be a BASE RATE fixed interest £1 Billion loan - I wonder if the fees garnered there would bear scrutiny or is this back to £Multi Million bankers' bonuses and how these charlatans steal the money!
I speak glibly of a £Billion!
A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A £Billion lent to a single firm with no visible substance to justify it from a bank that was bankrupted by the £Multi Millionaires in whose stewardship it was entrusted!
Do not overlook the irrefutable fact that Elaine Grossart was granted a divorce on the grounds of abuse, sexual assault, physical and mental abuse and much more damning evidence in the public domain - her divorce was against the vile, duplicitous, self serving, mean, bullying and narcissistic Hamish Grossart who is now BUYING the Courts with money defrauded from his ex-wife since he was penniless and borrowed money from her when they first met!
Do YOU believe that Hamish Grossart is a fit and proper person to be allowed to go amongst the public unsupervised let alone have custody at ANY time of young children - a man who it has been attested and accepted in Court beat his wife to the ground and urinated on her! A man who exposed himself erect and naked to his young daughter, a man who is a serial adulterter wife beater and abuser.
However much money this egregious piece of filth has should he be in a position to BUY his will from Courts corrupted by their deference to money, status, males and the Masons? I wonder howmany of the people in the Court will have a link and debt to each other through The Masons, The Spec. or similar I hazard a guess that Elaine Grossart will thus be clearly disadvantaged!
Filth like Hamish Grossart all too often are able gratuitously to abuse women and children as does Hamish Grossart.
Thursday, 15 June 2006
EG ROLE IN BRINGING UP CHILDREN
EG ROLE IN BRINGING UP CHILDREN
From a very early stage in our relationship before we got married I was involved with bringing up Mhoraig and Cathleen.
Hamish and I experienced many problems with Fiona over the well-being and care of the girls. Hamish was keen that I take over as soon as possible. He organised for me to meet with them very shortly after taking on the rent of Easter Belmont, Edinburgh.
When we were living at Easter Belmont I regularly took them on outings, had their friends play, took them to their friends and collected them.
West Court – Newton
I basically looked after Mhoraig and Cathleen on my own. Hamish was away on business, either in Stoke-on-Trent (Royal Doulton) or abroad. I had help with the children on part-time basis as I did not want to drive to Kilgraston, Perthshire with Ruairidh (a small baby at the time – 45 minute journey each way). We agreed to get some help. I employed a 18 year by the name of Jennifer Slee. She was delightful and stayed with us for 18 months. I sometimes drove to school and she sometimes drove to school. I had a lady help for 2 hours a week and I maintained the house. I kept the garden and occasionally had help.
The girls often had friends from South Queensberry to play and stay overnight. We had weekly visits from Hamish’s mother and father (in particular his mother).
I attended to all the girls needs:
Took them to the doctor when necesassary;
Hospital visits
Arranged their activities
Wellfare – hair, shopping
Washing
Helped with homework, project work
All aspect of school work – other requirements from school
Collection from Fiona’s – Hamish did in fact help out from time to time
Holidays in Tiree – all organisation
Visits to inlaws and my parents and family
From a very early stage in our relationship before we got married I was involved with bringing up Mhoraig and Cathleen.
Hamish and I experienced many problems with Fiona over the well-being and care of the girls. Hamish was keen that I take over as soon as possible. He organised for me to meet with them very shortly after taking on the rent of Easter Belmont, Edinburgh.
When we were living at Easter Belmont I regularly took them on outings, had their friends play, took them to their friends and collected them.
West Court – Newton
I basically looked after Mhoraig and Cathleen on my own. Hamish was away on business, either in Stoke-on-Trent (Royal Doulton) or abroad. I had help with the children on part-time basis as I did not want to drive to Kilgraston, Perthshire with Ruairidh (a small baby at the time – 45 minute journey each way). We agreed to get some help. I employed a 18 year by the name of Jennifer Slee. She was delightful and stayed with us for 18 months. I sometimes drove to school and she sometimes drove to school. I had a lady help for 2 hours a week and I maintained the house. I kept the garden and occasionally had help.
The girls often had friends from South Queensberry to play and stay overnight. We had weekly visits from Hamish’s mother and father (in particular his mother).
I attended to all the girls needs:
Took them to the doctor when necesassary;
Hospital visits
Arranged their activities
Wellfare – hair, shopping
Washing
Helped with homework, project work
All aspect of school work – other requirements from school
Collection from Fiona’s – Hamish did in fact help out from time to time
Holidays in Tiree – all organisation
Visits to inlaws and my parents and family
Sunday, 30 April 2006
HISTORY OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HAMISH PRIOR TO MARRIAGE
HISTORY OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HAMISH PRIOR TO MARRIAGE
Hamish and I first met at a Fine Art Exihibition in Edinburgh in 1996. There were a number of other occasions were our paths crossed, Bourne Fine Art, Bank Receptions etc. At one stage I briefly met him when I was working at Cala Homes in Colinton Road, Edinburgh and also when I worked at Adam & Company, Charlotte Square Edinburgh. I believe he had an office in the basement of 22 Charlotte Square which was above Adam & Company. I was not aware that his office was there until a few years later.
In mid 1987 I applied for a job with First Northern (company run by three directors, Hamish being one of them) based at 46 Charlotte Square, Edinburgh. I was initially interviewed by Michael Livingston and then by Hamish. I was offered the job and worked with First Northern at Charlotte Square, Edinburgh. During that time we developed a good relationship but not close. There were a few occasions when he asked me to work after the normal working time and I obliged. Gradually we grew fonder of each other. I was living with my long term partner at that time. Hamish was living at 13 Comely Bank Road. His wife Fiona had given birth to Mhoraig and when I met Hamish I should think she was 4-6 months old. He would often comment on how disorganised Fiona was and that she was not a good mother. He used to explain that she was unable to cook, look after the house and would not listen to his or any of his family’s advice on any issues pertaining to the children or the state of the house. I suppose you could say that I did believe all the various problems he was encountering.
On one occasion (October 1987) Hamish was shooting in the Borders and arrived at my house (North Lodge, Cringletie, Nr Eddleston, Peeblesshire) unannounced carrying a brace of pheasants. He was greeted by my then partner Ian Carr. I was a little surprised and so was my partner at the time. We have polite conversation and he expressed an interest in the garden and surrounding land so Ian kindly gave him a guided tour.
Hamish organised a family holiday (August 1987) and during that time he telephoned me to check on the state of play in the office, mail, messages etc. At the same time he would ask how I was and that he was missing me. He referred to the fact that when he returned he would be slimmer, tanned and would I wish to see him soon. I agreed that I too was looking forward to seeing him.
Several weeks after he returned from holiday I invited him for dinner in Eddleston . I am not entirely sure who suggested meeting at the house (North Lodge) and then going on to dinner. After dinner we came back to North Lodge for coffee. I think that was the first time we actually became intimate with each other.
Our affair began very slowly. Sometimes we would meet for dinner in Edinburgh and sometimes we liaised in the office. We both kept in touch with each other regularly on the phone. You could say it was all part of the ‘chase’. Hamish often asked me to phone him either at the office or even when he was on business in London, Belfast or even abroad.
He began to feel trapped with his marriage and explained that he never loved his wife and that she in fact never loved him. She only married him because as he puts it ‘he was a good prospect’. He believed that this was the biggest mistake he had made.
I will always remember Hamish proposing to me out of the blue in an Indian Restaurant (Leith,1987) He asked me if I was willing to ‘take a risk’ and would I prepared to ‘wait’. The reason he gave was that he wished to prepare the way with the children and wished to see then as often as possible. He also had to agree a settlement and then put all the arrangements in place before we could actually make any firm plans. This seemed entirely reasonable. My feelings for him were very strong and I was taken by surprise at his proposal. I thought it was not really quite the right thing to do whilst still married but I understood his depth of feelings and was deeply touched. We discussed this at great length and I agreed that I was willing to wait for him but that I did not want to be the reason for the ‘break-up’ and that he must be quite sure as he had a small daughter and she was so young. He explained that Fiona (former wife) had not wished children yet and that he had persuaded her to have a child and that she was not competent. He described his feelings more akin to ‘brothers to sisters’.
After some time our relationship at work was proving to be awkward for him. He explained that I should leave EFT formally First Northern Corporate because it was in his interests and mine – Fiona was also putting a lot of pressure on Hamish and threatening to leave him with Mhoraig or so he said.
I refused to leave unless I had another job to go to. One reason for this is that I owned a flat in Edinburgh in the Colonies (Stockbridge) and I also had other commitments at home. I did not feel it was fair just to hand in my notice until I had found suitable employment. I may add that Hamish asked me to move into my colonies flat so that I may be close to him but I refused on the grounds that it was too close for comfort and easy for him to flit back and forward. [I can’t remember at what point this came up but I did in fact point out that it woud be better to sort things out at home and extract himself without involvement from me so that it would be clear cut and that it would be better for his wife and children. In other words he must make the decision himself . He one pointed out that he would have left his wife eventually and that it was only a matter of time and that meeting me only brought it home more quickly than he had expected] Hamish offered and indeed promised to try and ‘fix me up with a job’. This did not materialise. Eventually he summoned me into the board room and explained that I was indeed going to leave the company and that he would pay me three months salary. I felt I could not continue to work there and agreed to leave.
I managed to gain employment at Dundas & Wilson (1988 ish) Hamish continued to keep in touch with me. I had at that point decided to try and detach myself from him as I felt he had to try and repair his marriage and felt it was far better to keep my distance. This was difficult for me as I was so very fond of him. Some of Hamish’s calls would be put over the loud speaker system in D & W reception . I received all calls. During this time we did not actually meet up - only contact by telephone.
Some 18 months or so passed we kept periodically. I set up a small business in Peebles and decided to continue my relationship with Ian. I began to receive telephone calls and then they became more frequent.
On 27 May 1989 I received a rather distressed call from Hamish asking if I could meet at the Braid Hills Hotel in Fairmilehead, Edinburgh. We met and talked. It was lovely to seem him again and I have to say I have always been attracted to him physically. It transpired that Fiona was about to give birth (Cathleen) and that he was not entirely happy with this prospect. I tried to console him by telling him he was a good father. He explained that he did not think it was his child and then subsequently told me he had been plyed with wine and that he did not want another child by Fiona and that he felt trapped. I said that is past now and that he must try and love her and that everything would be fine and to really try and repair the situation. He felt that Fiona and manipulated the situation. This has been a bone of contention for many years with us. I have always said to him he could also have said no to any form of physical relationship if he wanted and that they were both responsible for this child coming into this world.
Some time passed and Hamish I resumed our relationship. I travelled down to London on a few occasions. We met at various placed in and around Edinburgh, and the Borders.
He would phone me at my home and asked me to phone him at home or would give me various numbers to call.
He would call me to say that he was in the vicinity would I like to meet up. Sometimes we would meet in Peebles when he was shooting at Barnes (Near Manor Water, Peeblesshire). I met Robert MacNeil (owner of Kincardine Estate, Auchterarder Estate, godparents to Rosalind) there (1990). Sometimes he would tell me he was staying overnight in Cringletie Hotel which was only 2 minute walk from our cottage and would like to meet.
Hamish and I first met at a Fine Art Exihibition in Edinburgh in 1996. There were a number of other occasions were our paths crossed, Bourne Fine Art, Bank Receptions etc. At one stage I briefly met him when I was working at Cala Homes in Colinton Road, Edinburgh and also when I worked at Adam & Company, Charlotte Square Edinburgh. I believe he had an office in the basement of 22 Charlotte Square which was above Adam & Company. I was not aware that his office was there until a few years later.
In mid 1987 I applied for a job with First Northern (company run by three directors, Hamish being one of them) based at 46 Charlotte Square, Edinburgh. I was initially interviewed by Michael Livingston and then by Hamish. I was offered the job and worked with First Northern at Charlotte Square, Edinburgh. During that time we developed a good relationship but not close. There were a few occasions when he asked me to work after the normal working time and I obliged. Gradually we grew fonder of each other. I was living with my long term partner at that time. Hamish was living at 13 Comely Bank Road. His wife Fiona had given birth to Mhoraig and when I met Hamish I should think she was 4-6 months old. He would often comment on how disorganised Fiona was and that she was not a good mother. He used to explain that she was unable to cook, look after the house and would not listen to his or any of his family’s advice on any issues pertaining to the children or the state of the house. I suppose you could say that I did believe all the various problems he was encountering.
On one occasion (October 1987) Hamish was shooting in the Borders and arrived at my house (North Lodge, Cringletie, Nr Eddleston, Peeblesshire) unannounced carrying a brace of pheasants. He was greeted by my then partner Ian Carr. I was a little surprised and so was my partner at the time. We have polite conversation and he expressed an interest in the garden and surrounding land so Ian kindly gave him a guided tour.
Hamish organised a family holiday (August 1987) and during that time he telephoned me to check on the state of play in the office, mail, messages etc. At the same time he would ask how I was and that he was missing me. He referred to the fact that when he returned he would be slimmer, tanned and would I wish to see him soon. I agreed that I too was looking forward to seeing him.
Several weeks after he returned from holiday I invited him for dinner in Eddleston . I am not entirely sure who suggested meeting at the house (North Lodge) and then going on to dinner. After dinner we came back to North Lodge for coffee. I think that was the first time we actually became intimate with each other.
Our affair began very slowly. Sometimes we would meet for dinner in Edinburgh and sometimes we liaised in the office. We both kept in touch with each other regularly on the phone. You could say it was all part of the ‘chase’. Hamish often asked me to phone him either at the office or even when he was on business in London, Belfast or even abroad.
He began to feel trapped with his marriage and explained that he never loved his wife and that she in fact never loved him. She only married him because as he puts it ‘he was a good prospect’. He believed that this was the biggest mistake he had made.
I will always remember Hamish proposing to me out of the blue in an Indian Restaurant (Leith,1987) He asked me if I was willing to ‘take a risk’ and would I prepared to ‘wait’. The reason he gave was that he wished to prepare the way with the children and wished to see then as often as possible. He also had to agree a settlement and then put all the arrangements in place before we could actually make any firm plans. This seemed entirely reasonable. My feelings for him were very strong and I was taken by surprise at his proposal. I thought it was not really quite the right thing to do whilst still married but I understood his depth of feelings and was deeply touched. We discussed this at great length and I agreed that I was willing to wait for him but that I did not want to be the reason for the ‘break-up’ and that he must be quite sure as he had a small daughter and she was so young. He explained that Fiona (former wife) had not wished children yet and that he had persuaded her to have a child and that she was not competent. He described his feelings more akin to ‘brothers to sisters’.
After some time our relationship at work was proving to be awkward for him. He explained that I should leave EFT formally First Northern Corporate because it was in his interests and mine – Fiona was also putting a lot of pressure on Hamish and threatening to leave him with Mhoraig or so he said.
I refused to leave unless I had another job to go to. One reason for this is that I owned a flat in Edinburgh in the Colonies (Stockbridge) and I also had other commitments at home. I did not feel it was fair just to hand in my notice until I had found suitable employment. I may add that Hamish asked me to move into my colonies flat so that I may be close to him but I refused on the grounds that it was too close for comfort and easy for him to flit back and forward. [I can’t remember at what point this came up but I did in fact point out that it woud be better to sort things out at home and extract himself without involvement from me so that it would be clear cut and that it would be better for his wife and children. In other words he must make the decision himself . He one pointed out that he would have left his wife eventually and that it was only a matter of time and that meeting me only brought it home more quickly than he had expected] Hamish offered and indeed promised to try and ‘fix me up with a job’. This did not materialise. Eventually he summoned me into the board room and explained that I was indeed going to leave the company and that he would pay me three months salary. I felt I could not continue to work there and agreed to leave.
I managed to gain employment at Dundas & Wilson (1988 ish) Hamish continued to keep in touch with me. I had at that point decided to try and detach myself from him as I felt he had to try and repair his marriage and felt it was far better to keep my distance. This was difficult for me as I was so very fond of him. Some of Hamish’s calls would be put over the loud speaker system in D & W reception . I received all calls. During this time we did not actually meet up - only contact by telephone.
Some 18 months or so passed we kept periodically. I set up a small business in Peebles and decided to continue my relationship with Ian. I began to receive telephone calls and then they became more frequent.
On 27 May 1989 I received a rather distressed call from Hamish asking if I could meet at the Braid Hills Hotel in Fairmilehead, Edinburgh. We met and talked. It was lovely to seem him again and I have to say I have always been attracted to him physically. It transpired that Fiona was about to give birth (Cathleen) and that he was not entirely happy with this prospect. I tried to console him by telling him he was a good father. He explained that he did not think it was his child and then subsequently told me he had been plyed with wine and that he did not want another child by Fiona and that he felt trapped. I said that is past now and that he must try and love her and that everything would be fine and to really try and repair the situation. He felt that Fiona and manipulated the situation. This has been a bone of contention for many years with us. I have always said to him he could also have said no to any form of physical relationship if he wanted and that they were both responsible for this child coming into this world.
Some time passed and Hamish I resumed our relationship. I travelled down to London on a few occasions. We met at various placed in and around Edinburgh, and the Borders.
He would phone me at my home and asked me to phone him at home or would give me various numbers to call.
He would call me to say that he was in the vicinity would I like to meet up. Sometimes we would meet in Peebles when he was shooting at Barnes (Near Manor Water, Peeblesshire). I met Robert MacNeil (owner of Kincardine Estate, Auchterarder Estate, godparents to Rosalind) there (1990). Sometimes he would tell me he was staying overnight in Cringletie Hotel which was only 2 minute walk from our cottage and would like to meet.
Thursday, 1 December 2005
01-Dec-05 - SEXUAL ABUSE
SEXUAL ABUSE
Hospital – 1st December 2005 – Re-construction of ear - Ossiculoplasty
This was the second part of a two-part operation on my left ear. I required a reconstructon after surgery some two years ago. My first operation was a atticotomy and tympanoplasty procedure for chronic otitis media with cholesteatoma. The second operation was to correct my hearing. For the last four to five years my hearing had deteriated considerable and I had recurring ear infections.
My first operation was successful but it took a long time to recover.
On lst of December 2005 I was driven by Hamish to BUPA Murrayfield Hospital. I had originally arranged for my father to take me. I was going to drive down and leave my car at my parents and my father would drive me to the hospital. Hamish insisted that he should drive me down to the hospital – it was the least he could do.
We arrived at the hospital and taken to the private room. Whilst waiting for Hamish made several remarks of a sexual nature. I did not respond as I was more concerned with my operation and was not really relishing the idea of theatre. I have a little needle phobia. One of the nurses cames in to do the normal pre med checks – form filling – blood pressure etc. She came in and out of the room on at least four occasions. Each time Hamish enquired how long she would be and when she would be back. He suggested that I might like a quickie. I declined and ignored him. He continued to ask me and said it would make me less anxious. I continued to ignore him. He suggested that I may like to change before the Consultant visited. I said that it was 2 hours before the operation and that I wished to stay fully clothed. I went into the loo and Hamish followed closing and locking the door behind him. He suggested I might like to take my skirt off and keep my boots and and bend over. I declined. I told him that I did not wish this to happened. I did not want to make a scene. There was a knock on the room door and I quickly moved towards the door and ran to the room door and into the corridor. I looked for the Consultant and managed to find him. I explained that I was indisposed. He came back to the room and explained the procedure. Several other hospital staff came into the room and this took another hour. By this time I was due to go into theatre and Hamish departed. I was very upset at his insensitivity and lack of understanding of my circumstances. I thought his behaviour was base and I wished I had been more forceful with him.
Pitlour - Shoot Day
I think it was the second last day of our shooting season at Pitlour. I had employed Ruth Davies to look after Rosalind. The guests from the shoot had departed at about 4.30 – 5.00 pm. and I took Rosalind Ruth for a bar supper (Strath Tavern – Strathmiglo) before taking her home. At about 6.00 pm I received a text message from Hamish asking where he would find the nail scissors. I text back a message explaining where he might find them. Ruth, Rosalind and I left the Tavern at around 7.15 and I returned home (Pitlour) with Rosalind at about 8.00. Ruairidh rushed downstairs to greet me and said that Daddy needed his corn fixed would I help him. I declined and he continued to tell me that Daddy could not do it himself and that please could I help. Rosalind went to investigate and called me into Hamish’s bathroom. I declined and said that Daddy was not dressed so that I felt it was not a good idea to go in. Hamish called out to me and informed me that he was fully covered with a large towel. He asked if I would oblige. Rosalind and Ruairidh kept asking me to help. Rosalind was sitting next to Hamish with all the necessary implements to extract the corn. She said she would help. I gave in and said that I wanted him to remain covered. Rosalind stayed beside me and after half an hour Hamish suggested that she go and brush her teeth. She eventually did this and came back. Hamish then suggested she go and put her nightie on and this she did but brought it into the bathroom. He then suggested she put herself to sleep but by this time she realised that was not such a good plan and as soon as she had left the room Hamish opened up the towel and revealed his naked body. He was fully erect and suggested that I might want to do something with it, he continued to ask me and I left the room and said that I could not trust him any more and that he was just treating me like a piece of meat.
Hospital – 1st December 2005 – Re-construction of ear - Ossiculoplasty
This was the second part of a two-part operation on my left ear. I required a reconstructon after surgery some two years ago. My first operation was a atticotomy and tympanoplasty procedure for chronic otitis media with cholesteatoma. The second operation was to correct my hearing. For the last four to five years my hearing had deteriated considerable and I had recurring ear infections.
My first operation was successful but it took a long time to recover.
On lst of December 2005 I was driven by Hamish to BUPA Murrayfield Hospital. I had originally arranged for my father to take me. I was going to drive down and leave my car at my parents and my father would drive me to the hospital. Hamish insisted that he should drive me down to the hospital – it was the least he could do.
We arrived at the hospital and taken to the private room. Whilst waiting for Hamish made several remarks of a sexual nature. I did not respond as I was more concerned with my operation and was not really relishing the idea of theatre. I have a little needle phobia. One of the nurses cames in to do the normal pre med checks – form filling – blood pressure etc. She came in and out of the room on at least four occasions. Each time Hamish enquired how long she would be and when she would be back. He suggested that I might like a quickie. I declined and ignored him. He continued to ask me and said it would make me less anxious. I continued to ignore him. He suggested that I may like to change before the Consultant visited. I said that it was 2 hours before the operation and that I wished to stay fully clothed. I went into the loo and Hamish followed closing and locking the door behind him. He suggested I might like to take my skirt off and keep my boots and and bend over. I declined. I told him that I did not wish this to happened. I did not want to make a scene. There was a knock on the room door and I quickly moved towards the door and ran to the room door and into the corridor. I looked for the Consultant and managed to find him. I explained that I was indisposed. He came back to the room and explained the procedure. Several other hospital staff came into the room and this took another hour. By this time I was due to go into theatre and Hamish departed. I was very upset at his insensitivity and lack of understanding of my circumstances. I thought his behaviour was base and I wished I had been more forceful with him.
Pitlour - Shoot Day
I think it was the second last day of our shooting season at Pitlour. I had employed Ruth Davies to look after Rosalind. The guests from the shoot had departed at about 4.30 – 5.00 pm. and I took Rosalind Ruth for a bar supper (Strath Tavern – Strathmiglo) before taking her home. At about 6.00 pm I received a text message from Hamish asking where he would find the nail scissors. I text back a message explaining where he might find them. Ruth, Rosalind and I left the Tavern at around 7.15 and I returned home (Pitlour) with Rosalind at about 8.00. Ruairidh rushed downstairs to greet me and said that Daddy needed his corn fixed would I help him. I declined and he continued to tell me that Daddy could not do it himself and that please could I help. Rosalind went to investigate and called me into Hamish’s bathroom. I declined and said that Daddy was not dressed so that I felt it was not a good idea to go in. Hamish called out to me and informed me that he was fully covered with a large towel. He asked if I would oblige. Rosalind and Ruairidh kept asking me to help. Rosalind was sitting next to Hamish with all the necessary implements to extract the corn. She said she would help. I gave in and said that I wanted him to remain covered. Rosalind stayed beside me and after half an hour Hamish suggested that she go and brush her teeth. She eventually did this and came back. Hamish then suggested she go and put her nightie on and this she did but brought it into the bathroom. He then suggested she put herself to sleep but by this time she realised that was not such a good plan and as soon as she had left the room Hamish opened up the towel and revealed his naked body. He was fully erect and suggested that I might want to do something with it, he continued to ask me and I left the room and said that I could not trust him any more and that he was just treating me like a piece of meat.
Monday, 15 March 2004
March 2004 - HOSPITAL INCIDENT
HOSPITAL INCIDENT - March 2004 (I think) will be in my medical records
For twelve weeks I was very unwell and suffering from loss of blood. My doctor was not able to diagnose the problem and I therefore asked to be referred to a Consultant Gyaecologist (Dr Paul Dewart). He carried out several diagnostic tests which revealed an early incomplete miscarriage. The remains of the placenta were still in the womb and this had become infected. I was in immense paid. Hamish was not very sympathic and remarked that I was very dramatic and did not take me seriously until we had the results back. I had a full D & C (BUPA Murrayfield Hosp) While recovering after my general anathestic I received a visit from Hamish at about 9.00pm. I had arranged for the little children to be looked after by my housekeeper (Rosalind) and Ruairidh was staying with Dr. Jennifer Champion and Mr Stephen Champion.
Tobermory Champion is one of my son’s best friends and therefore I thought Ruairidh would feel more than comfortable with this. Rosalind loves Lynda Mitchell (housekeeper) and I thought that she was in a comfortable and loving environment.
Hamish apparently could not cancel any meetings and so I made the arrangements in view of the fact that I was their mother anyway.
When he arrived in the hospital room he was courteous but then became very angry. He was annoyed that I had made arrangements for the children to stay overnight without his knowledge. I had in fact told him and I explained that since he was visiting me at 9.00 pm and that he would only arrive at Pitlour (home) no early than 10.30 it seemed the right thing to do. He harassed me for 2 hours and reduced me to tears. When he left the room he passed my younger brother Ewan Simpson who was waiting outside. He greeted him and explained that I was very tired and perhaps he should only stay for a very short while. My brother did in fact sit with me for quite some time as I was very distraught and physically drained, tormented. I felt emotionally abused. The next day I was collected by my father and taken back to my parent’s house. Hamish came down to collect me. My parents suggested to Hamish that it might be helpful for me to have another quiet night at their house before returning to Pitlour and resuming the childcare and household routines. He then approached me in private and said it was up to me but that he would like me to come home and that he would look after me. I tried to explain to him that on the last three occasions when I had been in hospital I had returned home too soon and had not had time to recover properly. He ignored this and continued to try and persuade me. Eventually I gave in. My recovery took quite a long time and I was very weak and emotionally drained. I had lost a lot of weight and was very tired. I resumed my wifely and motherly duties within 2 days. Hamish carried on as normal He finds it very difficult to relate to illness and cannot really emphasis. He was very insensitive at the beginning, during and after the operation.
I had three previous operations where I was hospitalised and his behaviour was similar.
For twelve weeks I was very unwell and suffering from loss of blood. My doctor was not able to diagnose the problem and I therefore asked to be referred to a Consultant Gyaecologist (Dr Paul Dewart). He carried out several diagnostic tests which revealed an early incomplete miscarriage. The remains of the placenta were still in the womb and this had become infected. I was in immense paid. Hamish was not very sympathic and remarked that I was very dramatic and did not take me seriously until we had the results back. I had a full D & C (BUPA Murrayfield Hosp) While recovering after my general anathestic I received a visit from Hamish at about 9.00pm. I had arranged for the little children to be looked after by my housekeeper (Rosalind) and Ruairidh was staying with Dr. Jennifer Champion and Mr Stephen Champion.
Tobermory Champion is one of my son’s best friends and therefore I thought Ruairidh would feel more than comfortable with this. Rosalind loves Lynda Mitchell (housekeeper) and I thought that she was in a comfortable and loving environment.
Hamish apparently could not cancel any meetings and so I made the arrangements in view of the fact that I was their mother anyway.
When he arrived in the hospital room he was courteous but then became very angry. He was annoyed that I had made arrangements for the children to stay overnight without his knowledge. I had in fact told him and I explained that since he was visiting me at 9.00 pm and that he would only arrive at Pitlour (home) no early than 10.30 it seemed the right thing to do. He harassed me for 2 hours and reduced me to tears. When he left the room he passed my younger brother Ewan Simpson who was waiting outside. He greeted him and explained that I was very tired and perhaps he should only stay for a very short while. My brother did in fact sit with me for quite some time as I was very distraught and physically drained, tormented. I felt emotionally abused. The next day I was collected by my father and taken back to my parent’s house. Hamish came down to collect me. My parents suggested to Hamish that it might be helpful for me to have another quiet night at their house before returning to Pitlour and resuming the childcare and household routines. He then approached me in private and said it was up to me but that he would like me to come home and that he would look after me. I tried to explain to him that on the last three occasions when I had been in hospital I had returned home too soon and had not had time to recover properly. He ignored this and continued to try and persuade me. Eventually I gave in. My recovery took quite a long time and I was very weak and emotionally drained. I had lost a lot of weight and was very tired. I resumed my wifely and motherly duties within 2 days. Hamish carried on as normal He finds it very difficult to relate to illness and cannot really emphasis. He was very insensitive at the beginning, during and after the operation.
I had three previous operations where I was hospitalised and his behaviour was similar.
Thursday, 15 June 2000
VERBAL ABUSE
VERBAL ABUSE
All through my marriage Hamish has been verbally abusive. He is dismissive of my ideas, thoughts. He is critical of my attire, my friends. He does not like me win a point and often he becames abusive towards me if I do not agree with him.
He is rude in public towards me. He has been thoroughly rude to me in both public and private situations. He has publicly embarrassed me with rude comments. He has been rude at dinner parties. He can be utterly charming and revert to being sharp and rude the next.
Hamish has a reputation for being blunt. Some would say that this is refreshing and honest, and others would say he is brash and rude. I believe he is not sensitive to people’s thoughts and feelings. I have taken a lot of his abusive comments personally and they have been directed at me personally. I am aware that I am not the only person he does this to but I am the person who receives this treatment the most.
I watched his behaviour with his first wife and he gave her very little respect. There were many times when he cut off mid sentence or belittled her.
I have been belittled, demeaned and spoken with little respect throughout my marriage. He has an arrogant manner.
Hamish always likes to be right and cannot accept any blame nor will he believe he is wrong. He will correct me, devalue me, undermine me in front of the children without any thought as to the consequences.
The children listen and watch the way Hamish talks to me and they respond in the same manner. He flits between being exceptionally charming and kind, to being overbearing and abusive. He over-rules my routines with the children and uses bad language. He is dismissive to me in front of the children and has been throughout my marriage. He finds it difficult to operate as PARENT TO PARENT OR ADULT TO ADULT . By undermining me this sends the wrong messages to the children.
He has been abusive to all the children and in the early years (before we were married) he was extremely impatient and rude. The older girls have got used to his speak and I see a great difference in Ruairidh as a result of spending more time with his father. Many people who have known Ruairidh since he was little have seen a change. He is very influenced by his fathers tone, manner and turn of phrase. I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HAMISH’S INFLUENCE ON RUAIRIDH AND INDEED NOW ON ROSALIND.
Specific incidents of verbal abuse.
Lunch at the Gammell’s
We were invited to the Gammells for lunch one Sunday (can’t remember the exact date). Ruairidh was about 18 months old at the time. We were all in the car travelling to Elie. We had just driven through Leven and heading towards Lower Largo and he asked me which turning he should take. I suggested the upper road as opposed to the lower road leading into Lower Largo itself. He disagreed and became verbally abusive towards in front of the children. This behaviour resulted in him digging his elbow into my chest causing me to double up with pain. He continually made abusive comments and I at this stage could not reply. I think I was still breast feeding. I distinctly remember feeling very sore in the chest area and I my rib cage was aching. I had difficultly getting up from the car seat.
I asked Hamish to stop the car he made more nasty abusive remarks and eventually stopped the car. I struggled to get out and I could hear little Ruairidh crying. Mhoraig was trying to calm him down but Hamish’s body language was intimidating and I have to say I was quite frightened.
I was quite distraught and suggested he drove on and I would either walk or find a taxi in the nearest village and go home. I asked him to give my apologies. I did not want to get back into the car. He continued to be abusive and eventually he calmed down. I could see that I was not going to get home easily as we were quite a distance from any village or house.
Wedding – Ben and Jill Tindall – The Hub
We were driving down the motorway towards Edinburgh. We were arguing over some point or other. I decided to stop talking as he was beginning to get rather angry. The more I kept silent the more Hamish began to harass me. I asked him to stop but he continued to intimidate me. By the time we arrived in Edinburgh I was emotionally drained and was not up to going into a public situation. We parked the car near the castle and I asked Hamish if he would mind waiting for moment while I gathered myself. His behaviour had left me feeling so drained and physically sick and I just wanted a few minutes of quite time before I had to smile and be courteous. We arrived at the Hub. Luckily we were at separate tables and therefore I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. Jill Tindall however did remark that I looked rather ill and I explained that we had had a little domestic. She took me aside and explained that she knew Hamish was an overpowering character and that if I ever wanted someone to talk to, just to let her know.
After the wedding reception we travelled home taking the route through Edinburgh towards Queensferry Road. Hamish returned to the same subject that he was discussion on the journey down. I asked him not to revisit it and would he mind just letting me have a little sleep on the journey home. He just carried on and on. I asked him to stop the car. He did and I climbed and began walking towards my parents house. He followed. I continued walking. I arrived at my parents, worn out and drained. He was very apologetic. We continued our journey in silence.
West Court
Two incidents.
1.
We had a disagreement regarding whether I should or should not go on holiday with a girlfriend for a week. Ruairidh was 2. I employed Jenny Slee at the time. I felt the need to have a break because I had been so involved with the big girls and Ruairidh. HAMIISH HOWEVER HAD NOT CHANGED HIS LIFESTYLE IN ANY WAY E.G. SHOOTING, RUBY OUTINGS, CORPORATE PARTIES AND RECEPTIONS ETC. The argument turned into abusive behaviour. I ran upstairs to the family bathroom and Hamish followed. He demanded that I come out and finish the conversation. I said that I was not prepared to come out unless he stopped harassing me. He used his fist and bashed and banged the door. By this time I was extremely frightened. He disappeared. I can’t remember what happened next.
A number of people remarked on why the panel on the door had been broken (his parents, my parents, etc).
2.
Hamish arrived back from a business trip. He was quite tired and I can’t remember why the argument started but it resulted in him shouting at me banging the glass doors. Ruairidh (about 3 months old) was sleeping in a pram at that time and I had to take him out of the kitchen. He woke up very frightened and distressed. Hamish followed me into the drawing room and continued to harass me. I took the child into our bedroom and spent the rest of the night with him beside me. Hamish arrived in bed very late.
At Pitlour
Sometimes I would retreat to my study and Hamish would want to discuss a point. I would say can it wait or I disagree. He cannot let go and always wishes to push his point. He verbally bullies me on a regular basis. This kind of behaviour usually takes place in private apart from his verbal abusive which often takes place in front of the children, especially the little ones. He follows me from one room to the next being verbally abusive, referring to me as thick, lacking in any understanding of life, a mess, off my trolley, out to lunch, trash, overweight, barking etc He usually comes into the room and blocks the door. He stands in an intimating fashion and does not let me out of the room that I occupy. He invades my space and pushes often prevents me from going from one room to the next. Sometimes I manage to get outside and make for my car and he often opens the door to prevent me from driving away. He bangs his fists on the car and shouts abusive language e.g scum, pig
There are just too many to mention and they just seem to all converge in one horrible nightmare. I have been in this situation for many years. Sometimes I just have to be silent and that causes Hamish to react. I am am very aware that I now react very badly towards Hamish and that it is bad for the children. If I walk away from Hamish I am rude, if I don’t reply I am rude, if I disagree I am not listening tohim and if I have another opinion it is not correct and that I should listen very carefully to his. A NO WIN SITUATION. He has always been overbearing but over the years it has become more and more frequent. In the early years it was not so noticeable. Presumably as we were in the so called ‘honeymoon period’.
All through my marriage Hamish has been verbally abusive. He is dismissive of my ideas, thoughts. He is critical of my attire, my friends. He does not like me win a point and often he becames abusive towards me if I do not agree with him.
He is rude in public towards me. He has been thoroughly rude to me in both public and private situations. He has publicly embarrassed me with rude comments. He has been rude at dinner parties. He can be utterly charming and revert to being sharp and rude the next.
Hamish has a reputation for being blunt. Some would say that this is refreshing and honest, and others would say he is brash and rude. I believe he is not sensitive to people’s thoughts and feelings. I have taken a lot of his abusive comments personally and they have been directed at me personally. I am aware that I am not the only person he does this to but I am the person who receives this treatment the most.
I watched his behaviour with his first wife and he gave her very little respect. There were many times when he cut off mid sentence or belittled her.
I have been belittled, demeaned and spoken with little respect throughout my marriage. He has an arrogant manner.
Hamish always likes to be right and cannot accept any blame nor will he believe he is wrong. He will correct me, devalue me, undermine me in front of the children without any thought as to the consequences.
The children listen and watch the way Hamish talks to me and they respond in the same manner. He flits between being exceptionally charming and kind, to being overbearing and abusive. He over-rules my routines with the children and uses bad language. He is dismissive to me in front of the children and has been throughout my marriage. He finds it difficult to operate as PARENT TO PARENT OR ADULT TO ADULT . By undermining me this sends the wrong messages to the children.
He has been abusive to all the children and in the early years (before we were married) he was extremely impatient and rude. The older girls have got used to his speak and I see a great difference in Ruairidh as a result of spending more time with his father. Many people who have known Ruairidh since he was little have seen a change. He is very influenced by his fathers tone, manner and turn of phrase. I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HAMISH’S INFLUENCE ON RUAIRIDH AND INDEED NOW ON ROSALIND.
Specific incidents of verbal abuse.
Lunch at the Gammell’s
We were invited to the Gammells for lunch one Sunday (can’t remember the exact date). Ruairidh was about 18 months old at the time. We were all in the car travelling to Elie. We had just driven through Leven and heading towards Lower Largo and he asked me which turning he should take. I suggested the upper road as opposed to the lower road leading into Lower Largo itself. He disagreed and became verbally abusive towards in front of the children. This behaviour resulted in him digging his elbow into my chest causing me to double up with pain. He continually made abusive comments and I at this stage could not reply. I think I was still breast feeding. I distinctly remember feeling very sore in the chest area and I my rib cage was aching. I had difficultly getting up from the car seat.
I asked Hamish to stop the car he made more nasty abusive remarks and eventually stopped the car. I struggled to get out and I could hear little Ruairidh crying. Mhoraig was trying to calm him down but Hamish’s body language was intimidating and I have to say I was quite frightened.
I was quite distraught and suggested he drove on and I would either walk or find a taxi in the nearest village and go home. I asked him to give my apologies. I did not want to get back into the car. He continued to be abusive and eventually he calmed down. I could see that I was not going to get home easily as we were quite a distance from any village or house.
Wedding – Ben and Jill Tindall – The Hub
We were driving down the motorway towards Edinburgh. We were arguing over some point or other. I decided to stop talking as he was beginning to get rather angry. The more I kept silent the more Hamish began to harass me. I asked him to stop but he continued to intimidate me. By the time we arrived in Edinburgh I was emotionally drained and was not up to going into a public situation. We parked the car near the castle and I asked Hamish if he would mind waiting for moment while I gathered myself. His behaviour had left me feeling so drained and physically sick and I just wanted a few minutes of quite time before I had to smile and be courteous. We arrived at the Hub. Luckily we were at separate tables and therefore I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. Jill Tindall however did remark that I looked rather ill and I explained that we had had a little domestic. She took me aside and explained that she knew Hamish was an overpowering character and that if I ever wanted someone to talk to, just to let her know.
After the wedding reception we travelled home taking the route through Edinburgh towards Queensferry Road. Hamish returned to the same subject that he was discussion on the journey down. I asked him not to revisit it and would he mind just letting me have a little sleep on the journey home. He just carried on and on. I asked him to stop the car. He did and I climbed and began walking towards my parents house. He followed. I continued walking. I arrived at my parents, worn out and drained. He was very apologetic. We continued our journey in silence.
West Court
Two incidents.
1.
We had a disagreement regarding whether I should or should not go on holiday with a girlfriend for a week. Ruairidh was 2. I employed Jenny Slee at the time. I felt the need to have a break because I had been so involved with the big girls and Ruairidh. HAMIISH HOWEVER HAD NOT CHANGED HIS LIFESTYLE IN ANY WAY E.G. SHOOTING, RUBY OUTINGS, CORPORATE PARTIES AND RECEPTIONS ETC. The argument turned into abusive behaviour. I ran upstairs to the family bathroom and Hamish followed. He demanded that I come out and finish the conversation. I said that I was not prepared to come out unless he stopped harassing me. He used his fist and bashed and banged the door. By this time I was extremely frightened. He disappeared. I can’t remember what happened next.
A number of people remarked on why the panel on the door had been broken (his parents, my parents, etc).
2.
Hamish arrived back from a business trip. He was quite tired and I can’t remember why the argument started but it resulted in him shouting at me banging the glass doors. Ruairidh (about 3 months old) was sleeping in a pram at that time and I had to take him out of the kitchen. He woke up very frightened and distressed. Hamish followed me into the drawing room and continued to harass me. I took the child into our bedroom and spent the rest of the night with him beside me. Hamish arrived in bed very late.
At Pitlour
Sometimes I would retreat to my study and Hamish would want to discuss a point. I would say can it wait or I disagree. He cannot let go and always wishes to push his point. He verbally bullies me on a regular basis. This kind of behaviour usually takes place in private apart from his verbal abusive which often takes place in front of the children, especially the little ones. He follows me from one room to the next being verbally abusive, referring to me as thick, lacking in any understanding of life, a mess, off my trolley, out to lunch, trash, overweight, barking etc He usually comes into the room and blocks the door. He stands in an intimating fashion and does not let me out of the room that I occupy. He invades my space and pushes often prevents me from going from one room to the next. Sometimes I manage to get outside and make for my car and he often opens the door to prevent me from driving away. He bangs his fists on the car and shouts abusive language e.g scum, pig
There are just too many to mention and they just seem to all converge in one horrible nightmare. I have been in this situation for many years. Sometimes I just have to be silent and that causes Hamish to react. I am am very aware that I now react very badly towards Hamish and that it is bad for the children. If I walk away from Hamish I am rude, if I don’t reply I am rude, if I disagree I am not listening tohim and if I have another opinion it is not correct and that I should listen very carefully to his. A NO WIN SITUATION. He has always been overbearing but over the years it has become more and more frequent. In the early years it was not so noticeable. Presumably as we were in the so called ‘honeymoon period’.
Saturday, 15 April 2000
15-04-00 - CONTRIBUTION TO PITLOUR
CONTRIBUTION TO PITLOUR
Since I arrived at Pitlour I have been involved with many aspect with regard to the running and organising of the Estate and the House. I think it might help if I just list them:-
Running the house – employing staff.
Organising the rooms for guests
Organising the housekeeping
Participating in the household duties
- washing
- ironing
- cleaning
- cooking
- shopping
- care of contents
- maintenance of all equipment
Gardens
Finding and employing gardners and handyman
Gardening and helping with general tasks on estate – West Lodge
Instructing gardner and handyman on tasks on estate and in conjection with horses
Restoring West Lodge garden with the help of the handyman
Grounds
Cutting down trees
Helping with clearance work
Taking tubbing off saplings
Clearing debis and rubbish in preparation for restoration work on stable block
Cutting and clearing trees in Courtyard
Office work
Assisting Hamish with his office work
Setting up his office, filing and sorting out his files and
Books,
Keeping records
Organising diaries
Receiving corporate and estate persons
Organising visits
Ordering Goods
Sourcing
Picking up goods and delivery goods
Plans
Discussing plans for the Stable Courtyard
Discussing plans for Pitlour House
Attending meetings with Ben Tindall Architects
Attending numerous meeting with Henry Dempsey (Harry Taylor)
Discussing all manor of details on landscape, design, room design,
Kitchens, finish (final decision always with Hamish)
Sources paint samples
Organising paint – negotiating discounts
Dealing with contractors in Hamish’s but only with his strict instructions in
His absence
Estate
Organise all the shoot lunches, elevenses and teas
Receive guests at Pitlour House
Organise staff
Food
Presentation
Flower arranging
Setting up of the shoot complex
Hospitality and hosting of the shoot in general
Hiring of staff both for the catering and childcare
Childcare
Looking after all my children (all four)
Making sure they are fed
Making sure they attend their activities
Making sure they enjoy Pitlour and all it has to offer
Walks, riding, swimming in the lake
Entertaining
Looking after our guests
Dinner parties
Supper parties
Large events e.g. Christmas parties (50+ people) plus decoration
Teenage parties
Teenage dinner party
Small children’s parties 2 every year
Children’s friends staying overnight
Hamish
Shoe cleaning
Dry Cleaning
Sewing
Buying clothes
Organising shooting guests for him
Organising hair appointments
Organising dental appointments for all the family
Organising doctors appointments
Etc etc etc…………
Since I arrived at Pitlour I have been involved with many aspect with regard to the running and organising of the Estate and the House. I think it might help if I just list them:-
Running the house – employing staff.
Organising the rooms for guests
Organising the housekeeping
Participating in the household duties
- washing
- ironing
- cleaning
- cooking
- shopping
- care of contents
- maintenance of all equipment
Gardens
Finding and employing gardners and handyman
Gardening and helping with general tasks on estate – West Lodge
Instructing gardner and handyman on tasks on estate and in conjection with horses
Restoring West Lodge garden with the help of the handyman
Grounds
Cutting down trees
Helping with clearance work
Taking tubbing off saplings
Clearing debis and rubbish in preparation for restoration work on stable block
Cutting and clearing trees in Courtyard
Office work
Assisting Hamish with his office work
Setting up his office, filing and sorting out his files and
Books,
Keeping records
Organising diaries
Receiving corporate and estate persons
Organising visits
Ordering Goods
Sourcing
Picking up goods and delivery goods
Plans
Discussing plans for the Stable Courtyard
Discussing plans for Pitlour House
Attending meetings with Ben Tindall Architects
Attending numerous meeting with Henry Dempsey (Harry Taylor)
Discussing all manor of details on landscape, design, room design,
Kitchens, finish (final decision always with Hamish)
Sources paint samples
Organising paint – negotiating discounts
Dealing with contractors in Hamish’s but only with his strict instructions in
His absence
Estate
Organise all the shoot lunches, elevenses and teas
Receive guests at Pitlour House
Organise staff
Food
Presentation
Flower arranging
Setting up of the shoot complex
Hospitality and hosting of the shoot in general
Hiring of staff both for the catering and childcare
Childcare
Looking after all my children (all four)
Making sure they are fed
Making sure they attend their activities
Making sure they enjoy Pitlour and all it has to offer
Walks, riding, swimming in the lake
Entertaining
Looking after our guests
Dinner parties
Supper parties
Large events e.g. Christmas parties (50+ people) plus decoration
Teenage parties
Teenage dinner party
Small children’s parties 2 every year
Children’s friends staying overnight
Hamish
Shoe cleaning
Dry Cleaning
Sewing
Buying clothes
Organising shooting guests for him
Organising hair appointments
Organising dental appointments for all the family
Organising doctors appointments
Etc etc etc…………
PITLOUR
PITLOUR
We had countless friends to visit and stay. I took them to their friends. Picked them up from friends, shopping trips, arranged holidays. Looked after their clothes, washed, hand washed, ironed,comforted them in their time of need, took them to Pony club, organised all their school uniforms, tagging, equipment.
I was a mother to them. They call me mum and mum I was.
It is difficult to mention all aspect of being a mother but my life was totally taken up with looking after his girls initially and then when Ruairidh and Rosalind arrived I tried to give time to everyone but I did not give enough time to myself. Hamish was there to drive them to their various destinations but that was about the sum total of involvement. He was and is so utterly obsessed with Pitlour and putting back to its former glory at any cost
We had countless friends to visit and stay. I took them to their friends. Picked them up from friends, shopping trips, arranged holidays. Looked after their clothes, washed, hand washed, ironed,comforted them in their time of need, took them to Pony club, organised all their school uniforms, tagging, equipment.
I was a mother to them. They call me mum and mum I was.
It is difficult to mention all aspect of being a mother but my life was totally taken up with looking after his girls initially and then when Ruairidh and Rosalind arrived I tried to give time to everyone but I did not give enough time to myself. Hamish was there to drive them to their various destinations but that was about the sum total of involvement. He was and is so utterly obsessed with Pitlour and putting back to its former glory at any cost
April 2000 - PITLOUR
April 2000 - PITLOUR
PITLOUR
We moved to Pitlour in April 2000. I was pregnant with Rosalind. The girls attended Kilgraston on a flexi-boarding regieme. I thought this was the best way so that the girls could enjoy family life and boarding life. The best of both worlds. I have never really liked the idea of ‘boarding’.
I packed all the contents of our house in West Court and unpacked all the contents when we arrived at Pitlour.
We enjoyed some happy years here. Hamish insisted that I look for horses for the girls. I was not going to buy a riding horse for myself as I had a toddler but was happy to organise, buy and look after the horses. We had employed a nanny and she lived in our basement flat. I juggled between running the house, taking children to school and looking after various aspect of the running of Pitlour (including helping Hamish with is many directorships, office work etc).
We began to bring in various staff, a handyman, a gamekeeper etc.
Hamish was obsessed with Pitlour. He spent many hours showing friends, family, business colleagues and anyone who was interested around Pitlour. We began work on the stables and this took up the majority of Hamish’s time. We would sit up till 2 and 3 in the morning pouring over plans for the stable conversion, the big house, the landscape gardens.
We entertained many friends and had many friends staying overnight.
Rosalind was born on 22 November 2000. We had various staff ranging from a nanny, to various au pairs. I employed a cleaner (Lynda Mitchell) who assisted me in the house. I worked in the house regularly (house cleaning, washing, cooking entertaining (business colleages, friends of the children overnight, family) We always invited both families at Christmas time. We held Rosalind’s Christening at Pitlour and Mhoraig’s 18 Birthday party not too mention many more parties, and events.
Hamish decided to get the Pitlour Shoot up and running as quickly as possible and set about refurbishing our West Lodge so that Scott Lindsay (gamekeeper) could move in. I worked with the handy man (Roy Nicol). We pulled down old buildings and took down trees and cleared away debris (summer 2000 – pregnant).
Hamish spent most of his spare time either with the contractors, on site or with me pouring over plans and discussing the projects. Henry Dempsey of Harry Taylor (Chartered Architects) visited our house on a regular basis. I would go as far as to say he practically lived here. I provided him with numerous meals both during the week and often at the weekend. Hamish did not take the girls to school very often nor did he attend any of their matches at Kilgraston. He did not spend a lot of time with the children in general.
The children ate dinner at around 5.00- 6.00 and Hamish and I ate at around 8 – 10 pm. Life was very hectic.
PITLOUR
We moved to Pitlour in April 2000. I was pregnant with Rosalind. The girls attended Kilgraston on a flexi-boarding regieme. I thought this was the best way so that the girls could enjoy family life and boarding life. The best of both worlds. I have never really liked the idea of ‘boarding’.
I packed all the contents of our house in West Court and unpacked all the contents when we arrived at Pitlour.
We enjoyed some happy years here. Hamish insisted that I look for horses for the girls. I was not going to buy a riding horse for myself as I had a toddler but was happy to organise, buy and look after the horses. We had employed a nanny and she lived in our basement flat. I juggled between running the house, taking children to school and looking after various aspect of the running of Pitlour (including helping Hamish with is many directorships, office work etc).
We began to bring in various staff, a handyman, a gamekeeper etc.
Hamish was obsessed with Pitlour. He spent many hours showing friends, family, business colleagues and anyone who was interested around Pitlour. We began work on the stables and this took up the majority of Hamish’s time. We would sit up till 2 and 3 in the morning pouring over plans for the stable conversion, the big house, the landscape gardens.
We entertained many friends and had many friends staying overnight.
Rosalind was born on 22 November 2000. We had various staff ranging from a nanny, to various au pairs. I employed a cleaner (Lynda Mitchell) who assisted me in the house. I worked in the house regularly (house cleaning, washing, cooking entertaining (business colleages, friends of the children overnight, family) We always invited both families at Christmas time. We held Rosalind’s Christening at Pitlour and Mhoraig’s 18 Birthday party not too mention many more parties, and events.
Hamish decided to get the Pitlour Shoot up and running as quickly as possible and set about refurbishing our West Lodge so that Scott Lindsay (gamekeeper) could move in. I worked with the handy man (Roy Nicol). We pulled down old buildings and took down trees and cleared away debris (summer 2000 – pregnant).
Hamish spent most of his spare time either with the contractors, on site or with me pouring over plans and discussing the projects. Henry Dempsey of Harry Taylor (Chartered Architects) visited our house on a regular basis. I would go as far as to say he practically lived here. I provided him with numerous meals both during the week and often at the weekend. Hamish did not take the girls to school very often nor did he attend any of their matches at Kilgraston. He did not spend a lot of time with the children in general.
The children ate dinner at around 5.00- 6.00 and Hamish and I ate at around 8 – 10 pm. Life was very hectic.
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