HISTORY OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HAMISH PRIOR TO MARRIAGE

HISTORY OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HAMISH PRIOR TO MARRIAGE

Hamish and I first met at a Fine Art Exihibition in Edinburgh in 1996. There were a number of other occasions were our paths crossed, Bourne Fine Art, Bank Receptions etc. At one stage I briefly met him when I was working at Cala Homes in Colinton Road, Edinburgh and also when I worked at Adam & Company, Charlotte Square Edinburgh. I believe he had an office in the basement of 22 Charlotte Square which was above Adam & Company. I was not aware that his office was there until a few years later.

In mid 1987 I applied for a job with First Northern (company run by three directors, Hamish being one of them) based at 46 Charlotte Square, Edinburgh. I was initially interviewed by Michael Livingston and then by Hamish. I was offered the job and worked with First Northern at Charlotte Square, Edinburgh. During that time we developed a good relationship but not close. There were a few occasions when he asked me to work after the normal working time and I obliged. Gradually we grew fonder of each other. I was living with my long term partner at that time. Hamish was living at 13 Comely Bank Road. His wife Fiona had given birth to Mhoraig and when I met Hamish I should think she was 4-6 months old. He would often comment on how disorganised Fiona was and that she was not a good mother. He used to explain that she was unable to cook, look after the house and would not listen to his or any of his family’s advice on any issues pertaining to the children or the state of the house. I suppose you could say that I did believe all the various problems he was encountering.

On one occasion (October 1987) Hamish was shooting in the Borders and arrived at my house (North Lodge, Cringletie, Nr Eddleston, Peeblesshire) unannounced carrying a brace of pheasants. He was greeted by my then partner Ian Carr. I was a little surprised and so was my partner at the time. We have polite conversation and he expressed an interest in the garden and surrounding land so Ian kindly gave him a guided tour.

Hamish organised a family holiday (August 1987) and during that time he telephoned me to check on the state of play in the office, mail, messages etc. At the same time he would ask how I was and that he was missing me. He referred to the fact that when he returned he would be slimmer, tanned and would I wish to see him soon. I agreed that I too was looking forward to seeing him.

Several weeks after he returned from holiday I invited him for dinner in Eddleston . I am not entirely sure who suggested meeting at the house (North Lodge) and then going on to dinner. After dinner we came back to North Lodge for coffee. I think that was the first time we actually became intimate with each other.

Our affair began very slowly. Sometimes we would meet for dinner in Edinburgh and sometimes we liaised in the office. We both kept in touch with each other regularly on the phone. You could say it was all part of the ‘chase’. Hamish often asked me to phone him either at the office or even when he was on business in London, Belfast or even abroad.

He began to feel trapped with his marriage and explained that he never loved his wife and that she in fact never loved him. She only married him because as he puts it ‘he was a good prospect’. He believed that this was the biggest mistake he had made.

I will always remember Hamish proposing to me out of the blue in an Indian Restaurant (Leith,1987) He asked me if I was willing to ‘take a risk’ and would I prepared to ‘wait’. The reason he gave was that he wished to prepare the way with the children and wished to see then as often as possible. He also had to agree a settlement and then put all the arrangements in place before we could actually make any firm plans. This seemed entirely reasonable. My feelings for him were very strong and I was taken by surprise at his proposal. I thought it was not really quite the right thing to do whilst still married but I understood his depth of feelings and was deeply touched. We discussed this at great length and I agreed that I was willing to wait for him but that I did not want to be the reason for the ‘break-up’ and that he must be quite sure as he had a small daughter and she was so young. He explained that Fiona (former wife) had not wished children yet and that he had persuaded her to have a child and that she was not competent. He described his feelings more akin to ‘brothers to sisters’.

After some time our relationship at work was proving to be awkward for him. He explained that I should leave EFT formally First Northern Corporate because it was in his interests and mine – Fiona was also putting a lot of pressure on Hamish and threatening to leave him with Mhoraig or so he said.

I refused to leave unless I had another job to go to. One reason for this is that I owned a flat in Edinburgh in the Colonies (Stockbridge) and I also had other commitments at home. I did not feel it was fair just to hand in my notice until I had found suitable employment. I may add that Hamish asked me to move into my colonies flat so that I may be close to him but I refused on the grounds that it was too close for comfort and easy for him to flit back and forward. [I can’t remember at what point this came up but I did in fact point out that it woud be better to sort things out at home and extract himself without involvement from me so that it would be clear cut and that it would be better for his wife and children. In other words he must make the decision himself . He one pointed out that he would have left his wife eventually and that it was only a matter of time and that meeting me only brought it home more quickly than he had expected] Hamish offered and indeed promised to try and ‘fix me up with a job’. This did not materialise. Eventually he summoned me into the board room and explained that I was indeed going to leave the company and that he would pay me three months salary. I felt I could not continue to work there and agreed to leave.

I managed to gain employment at Dundas & Wilson (1988 ish) Hamish continued to keep in touch with me. I had at that point decided to try and detach myself from him as I felt he had to try and repair his marriage and felt it was far better to keep my distance. This was difficult for me as I was so very fond of him. Some of Hamish’s calls would be put over the loud speaker system in D & W reception . I received all calls. During this time we did not actually meet up - only contact by telephone.

Some 18 months or so passed we kept periodically. I set up a small business in Peebles and decided to continue my relationship with Ian. I began to receive telephone calls and then they became more frequent.

On 27 May 1989 I received a rather distressed call from Hamish asking if I could meet at the Braid Hills Hotel in Fairmilehead, Edinburgh. We met and talked. It was lovely to seem him again and I have to say I have always been attracted to him physically. It transpired that Fiona was about to give birth (Cathleen) and that he was not entirely happy with this prospect. I tried to console him by telling him he was a good father. He explained that he did not think it was his child and then subsequently told me he had been plyed with wine and that he did not want another child by Fiona and that he felt trapped. I said that is past now and that he must try and love her and that everything would be fine and to really try and repair the situation. He felt that Fiona and manipulated the situation. This has been a bone of contention for many years with us. I have always said to him he could also have said no to any form of physical relationship if he wanted and that they were both responsible for this child coming into this world.

Some time passed and Hamish I resumed our relationship. I travelled down to London on a few occasions. We met at various placed in and around Edinburgh, and the Borders.
He would phone me at my home and asked me to phone him at home or would give me various numbers to call.

He would call me to say that he was in the vicinity would I like to meet up. Sometimes we would meet in Peebles when he was shooting at Barnes (Near Manor Water, Peeblesshire). I met Robert MacNeil (owner of Kincardine Estate, Auchterarder Estate, godparents to Rosalind) there (1990). Sometimes he would tell me he was staying overnight in Cringletie Hotel which was only 2 minute walk from our cottage and would like to meet.