To assist I include them herewith and the so called 'Report' can be seen in full if you LINK
Atonishingly this man saw himself as morally and ethically fit to 'Report' on this matter in the light of the fact that he had accepted social hospitality from Hamish Grossart and his extended family, having his expenses paid to holiday with them in France!
One would have thought that an ethical man would have prorogued himself.
There are in fact two Reports.
The first report prepared by Furnell was late as would seem to be always in his case and he charged a further £4,000!
His excuse was that he had not typing capacity.
I checked with his secretary and she confirmed that he had not passed the document in.
Seemingly it was just a way of getting further funds.
There are many Sheriffs and lawyers and indeed other child psychologists who have intimated to me that he is just after the green money.
A further Supplementary report was prepared and I will email.
I gave you the letter which I wrote in strong terms to Scott Cochrane of Brodies stating my utter disgust that he did not act in an "independent' manner.
He went to France to interview the children and took hospitality from HG and the extended family! He interviewed the grandparents, the aunt and half sisters. He however did not accord the same respect towards me.
He came to interview on three separate occasions each time arriving 1hour, 2.5 and 3 hours late respectively. He did not interview any one except the Au Pair living with me at that time.
Grossly and disgustingly imbalanced and biased, in my opinion.
His manner towards me was unprofessional haughty, arrogant and quite frankly rude.
On his last visit to me when asked why he was late when he was only 10 minutes down the road he faked a demeaning "feint" that he should be asked.
His whole approach was seemingly offensive, unprofessional and indicated a fraudalent behaviour.
Regards
Elaine
Prof. James R. G. Furnell
M.A. D.C.P. Ph.D. LL.B. DIP. L.P. F.B.P.S. C.Psychol
Consultant Psychologist
Consulting at
Abbey King’s Park Hospital, Polmaise Road,
Stirling, FK7 9PU
Stirling, FK7 9PU
Tel: 01786 451669 Fax: 01786 465296
Our Ref: JF/AW 6th August 2007
For the attention of: the Clerk of Court to Lord Brodie
The Court of Session
Parliament House
Edinburgh EH1 1RF
cc: For the attention of: G. Leonard Mair Esq.
Morton Fraser
Solicitors
30-31 Queen Street
Edinburgh EH2 1JX
cc: For the attention of: Scott Cochrane Esq.
Brodies
Solicitors
15 Atholl Crescent
Edinburgh EH3 8HA
Court of Session, Edinburgh
Supplementary Report
Elaine Rosalind MacKenzie Simpson or Grossart -v- Hamish Macleod Grossart
The Children: Ruairidh Sholto Grossart (d.o.b. 8th January 1998) and
Rosalind Sophie MacKenzie Grossart (d.o.b. 20th November 2000).
Court Reference: F72/06
On the instructions of the Court, I have provided a previous Report in this matter dated 10th September 2006. This Supplementary Report has been prepared in response to Court of Session Interlocutor dated 1st March 2007 which states, inter alia,:- “The Lord Ordinary, having heard Counsel on the motion roll; refuses the pursuers motion to appoint a Curator ad litem and grants the defenders motion and in terms thereof appoints Professor JRG Furnell to investigate and report on the matters mentioned in the further remit, as adjusted at the bar of the court; directs the defender to instruct the Reporter and to be responsible for his fees and outlays in the first instance;”.
The Remit referred to in the above quoted Interlocutor states: -
“In respect that the report of Professor JRG Furnell dated 10 September 2006 proposed that arrangements in respect of the children be reviewed after a trial period of a few months, a further report is now sought to review the arrangements for the residence and care of the children, Ruairidh and Rosalind advising on:
(a) whether the original recommendations insofar as they have been implemented are securing the best interests of each of the children;
(b) whether the original recommendations might be altered, and if so in what manner to secure the best interests of each of the children; and
(c) what specific steps might be taken by each of the parties to promote the successful functioning of the practical arrangements in respect of the care of each of the children having regard to their best interests”.
This Supplementary Report should be read in conjunction with the previous report dated 10th September 2006.
In preparation of this Supplementary Report, I have read additional documents, comprising: -
1) Summons (as adjusted 22nd February 2007) and Defences (adjusted 23rd November 2006),
2) Minute of Amendment for the Defender, and
3) Note for Minute of Proceedings (20th December 2006).
To form my opinion, I interviewed Mrs Elaine Grossart, the mother of the children Ruairidh and Rosalind at her home at Cloan on 13th, 14th and 24th June 2007 to a total duration of 8 hours. I interviewed Mr Hamish Grossart, the children’s birth father, at Pitlour on 23rd May, 11th June and 7th of July 2007 for a total of 7 ¼ hours. I observed both children in their mother’s care at Cloan on 24th June 2007 for 2 ½ hours. I observed the children at Pitlour in their father’s care on 11th June 2007 for approximately 3 hours. I met with academic staff at Craigclowan Preparatory School, Perth on 18th June 2007 for 1 ½ hours. I discussed matters with Mrs Grossart Senior, the children’s paternal grandmother, at Pitlour for a half hour. I interviewed Roxanna Cazacu, a carer of the children at Mrs Grossart’s home at Cloan on 24th June 2007 for a half hour. Finally, I interviewed Ruairidh and Rosalind at my clinic at Abbey King’s Park Hospital in Stirling on 13th and 25th June 2007. The total duration of interview with Ruairidh was 2 hours, and with Rosalind approximately 1 ½ hours. On the first occasion the children were brought by their father, and on the second occasion by their mother.
Interviews and Observations.
1) Mrs Elaine Grossart.
At the time of our meeting, Mrs Grossart continued to live, as previously, at Cloan. She explained that she felt there was no need to make immediate decisions about where she should live in the longer term. With regard to the children, Mrs Grossart indicated that arrangements for their care had been made broadly reflecting the recommendations of the previous Report. Her view was that “life has to go on”.
Upon interview, Mrs Grossart appeared considerably calmer than upon previous meetings. She was more able to maintain discussion and focus on topics of conversation. She was more able than previously to maintain structure and limits to matters requiring discussion. Her manner was at times emotional, and it appeared that she still felt strongly concerning previous matters concerning family and the children and young people who had previously lived at Pitlour. However, there were also indications of a returning sense of humour and proportion.
Mrs Grossart maintained that her former marital relationship, and involvement with the children’s extended paternal family was abusive of herself in physical and other ways, and that this abusive climate accounted for her previous presentation. She indicated that her views on these matters had not changed, and that, as a consequence, her concerns remained that both Ruairidh and Rosalind would be subject to considerable pressure and “hot housing” of their development by the Grossart family. For her part, Mrs Grossart indicated that she wished to dilute this potentially malign influence, and attempt, rather, to nurture the children.
Mrs Grossart stated that, at the time of interview, she had not developed any new relationship with a new partner in her life, and she intended to refrain from doing so until long term decisions had been taken about the well being of Ruairidh and Rosalind. However, Mrs Grossart indicated that she understood that Mr Grossart had developed a relationship with a new lady friend, and she indicated that she was attempting to encourage the children to accommodate to that new relationship.
In the context of the child care arrangements operating, Mrs Grossart felt that various difficulties had arisen.
Firstly, telephone contact with, in terms of the child care rota, “absent parent” was said to be posing difficulties. Mrs Grossart felt there was a difference between herself and the children’s father about how telephone calls should operate. In her view, Mr Grossart wishes to call any “absent” child, or both children, each and every day. For her part, Mrs Grossart felt that she acknowledged that, in reality, there was not always a need to speak to both of the children each day, although she would wish to do so. However, she acknowledges this is not always possible.
Secondly, Mrs Grossart feels that Mr Grossart tends to undermine her care of the children when they are resident with her. Particularly, she feels that Mr Grossart gives the children directions about their care, by telephone. Mrs Grossart feels that this is unreasonable and controlling. In particular, she feels that this is both Mr Grossart and what she views as the “force” of the extended paternal family trying to diminish her position as a mother to her children. Mrs Grossart cited as an example that, the previous weekend, at the end of a period of residing with Mrs Grossart, Rosalind had woken up with a cold. Arrangements had also been made for Rosalind to accompany her father and others to London for the weekend. As a result of this weekend arrangement, Rosalind would have to miss her Friday night ballet class. In any event, Mrs Grossart consulted Dr James Grant, Medical General Practitioner of the Auchterarder Practice. Mrs Grossart indicated that she had registered both children with the Auchterarder Medical Practice (St Margaret’s) and hence the children were so far as she understood, registered in a dual manner with both Auchterarder and Auchtermuchty practices. Mrs Grossart recalled that Dr Grant had advised that it would probably be wiser for Rosalind not to travel, but in the end this would be a parental decision. However, Dr Grant advised against any swimming. Mrs Grossart understood that there had been disagreement about the state of Rosalind’s health, and its implications for travel. She felt that such questioning was inappropriate and undermining of her maternal role.
Thirdly Mrs Grossart noted that there had been various “incidents” at the times of handovers of the children from the care of one parent to the other. In particular, she recalled an incident in October 2006 at the car park of Dobbie’s garden centre in Perth. She recalled that in addition to herself and the children, Roxanna, who helps with the care of the children, was also in the car. The children were to be transferred from the care of Mrs Grossart to that of their father. In her view, Mr Grossart provoked Mrs Grossart. His first statement was said to have been to the effect of “You won’t see Ruairidh again”. Mrs Grossart interpreted the implication of this remark at the time as to be that Ruairidh would remain with his father. The second comment was alleged to have been “You’ll not be around very long”. Mrs Grossart stated that she interpreted this as a threat. Mrs Grossart stated that she felt provoked on both counts. She and Mr Grossart squabbled. Mrs Grossart understood that Mr Grossart was attempting to record the incident on his mobile telephone. Hence Mrs Grossart grabbed the mobile telephone and put it down a drain. Mrs Grossart acknowledges that, with hindsight, she reacted at the time in an ill advised manner, but maintains that she was provoked by Mr Grossart. In any event, she acknowledges that she is not now to go within a certain physical distance of Mr Grossart. However, she feels the implications of this are that she has been manoeuvred in a legal sense, and also been overpowered. Mrs Grossart stated that she feels that Mr Grossart has been, and continues to be, bullying and manipulative both within her former marriage and also in wider family matters. She feels that Mr Grossart can indeed be a bully, and she does not want the children exposed to that style of interpersonal behaviour. She notes that she has seen internet websites on such matters, and feels that the content of these websites tends to apply to Mr Grossart’s alleged behaviour. She tries to counteract Mr Grossart’s alleged influence on the children by providing a stable and reassuring environment for the children when they are in her care.
Mrs Grossart indicated that, as noted previously, in her view the extended Grossart family have a formidable and potentially malign influence on those with whom they come in contact. Whilst Mrs Grossart lived at Pitlour, it was her view that Mr Grossart deliberately recruited both of his older daughters, and also Ruairidh and Rosalind in an attempt to undermine Mrs Grossart’s position within the household. She indicated that she had kept Rosalind with her in her bedroom at Pitlour to discourage Mr Grossart’s alleged sexual advances.
Fourthly Mrs Grossart feels that the children’s older half siblings have tended not to contact Ruairidh and Rosalind independently by telephone. Rather, both older girls have spoken to the younger children at the end of one of Mr Grossart’s calls to Ruairidh and Rosalind. However, Mrs Grossart acknowledges that both younger children welcome telephone communication with their older half siblings. However, Mrs Grossart is concerned this appears to be initiated by Mr Grossart, and possibly not by the older girls themselves. She feels that such discussion between the half siblings is quite acceptable in principle, but she would not wish this to become so regular as to be intrusive.
Mrs Grossart indicated that if she wishes to speak to Ruairidh and Rosalind when the children are at Pitlour, she tends to ring between 6 and 6.30pm using the landline. She understands that she might or might not connect with the children. If she does not reach either of the children, she will just leave it. If a matter is important, either in terms of child care, or her direct communication with one of the children, she will call Mr Grossart’s mobile telephone. She hopes the children might then ring back if possible. Mrs Grossart indicated that she feels that the children should be able to call either parent, but she also acknowledges that sometimes the children do not need to speak to an absent parent on each possible occasion. She is however concerned that Ruairidh could spend a disproportionately long time on the telephone to his father which would disrupt home life during evenings at Cloan.
Fifthly Mrs Grossart feels that she is probably criticised and undermined by the Grossart family to her own children. For example, Rosalind is said to say to her mother that both Mr Grossart and the children’s paternal grandmother say “You don’t cook properly”. In addition, Mrs Grossart feels there are probably differences of expectations for the children in the different households. For example, she understands that Rosalind is told that the child should pack her own clothes and belongings when she is about to move to her mother’s house. Mrs Grossart is concerned that Rosalind is far too immature to cope with such a task, and that such expectations also constitute inappropriate pressure on a very young child. In addition, Mrs Grossart feels that she is undermined by Mr Grossart, for example in choice of shoes for the children. She was said to have chosen what she felt was a responsible choice of shoe (Start Rite). Mr Grossart was reported then to have commented “I can do better than that”. This is said to have taken place in front of the children.
Sixthly Mrs Grossart notes there is difficulty about clothes, particularly including school uniform and kit. She notes that school uniform for Ruairidh is duplicated at Pitlour and Cloan. She feels that such duplication should not be necessary and it should be possible to operate with one set of clothes and equipment on the basis of mutual trust. Mrs Grossart felt that Mr Grossart had used matters concerning Ruairidh’s apparent lack of preparation of school kit to make Mrs Grossart appear incompetent. However, for her part, Mrs Grossart feels that Mr Grossart does not check Ruairidh’s bag to confirm that Ruairidh has the appropriate sports kit to take to school. She feels that this should be part of Mr Grossart paternal functions during an evening.
Finally, Mrs Grossart indicated that she still maintains concerns that Mr Grossart could react in an angry or violent way towards children or young people, and also use the power of his personality to impose his will on young people. Mrs Grossart cited as an example that, for her part, she denies ever having hit either of the children’s half siblings, except Morag on one occasion. Mrs Grossart indicated that she feels that Mr Grossart knows that Morag was untruthful in an affidavit, concerning matters of physical violence. She is concerned that such pressure could be brought to bear on both Ruairidh and Rosalind. She is concerned with her children being exposed to what she views as such manipulation. In addition, she claims that Mr Grossart can lose his temper in a serious manner with the children. She states, therefore, she is apprehensive of what might happen to Rosalind and Ruairidh at Pitlour. Mrs Grossart stated that in or about January or February 2007, she was informed that Mr Grossart had hit Ruairidh and sent him to his room. He was said then to have hit Rosalind who had supported her brother. Rosalind went to see Ruairidh who was said to have been curled up in his bed. Rosalind is said to have stated “Mummy we were shivering”. Mrs Grossart was concerned about the implications of this alleged incident. Mrs Grossart also stated that she recalled one incident while she still lived at Pitlour when Rosalind was said to have scratched her father’s face. Mr Grossart is said then to have become extremely angry, and Rosalind’s back was “raw and blistered”. Mrs Grossart stated that she had taken a photograph of the child’s back using a mobile phone at the time. Mrs Grossart produced this photograph. I indicated to Mrs Grossart that there was nothing obvious to be seen of concern in that image as produced. However, Mrs Grossart indicated that she was concerned the children might become involved in violent incidents at Pitlour.
On our second meeting, Mrs Grossart indicated that she was aware that both Ruairidh and Rosalind could manipulate the situation between two households. Mrs Grossart felt that she was still unable to speak to Mr Grossart concerning the children in a direct manner, so there is a need still to communicate by email. She would welcome the opportunity to discuss general policies of care and upbringing for both of the children. For example, should each of the children play a musical instrument, and if so which one?
Mrs Grossart felt also that there was a difference of style and emphasis on how each parent set limits on the children’s behaviour. Previously at Pitlour she had felt she had to set limits in the house for all of the young people concerned, including the children’s older half siblings. Mrs Grossart quoted as an example the question of the behaviour of boyfriends within the house. She felt she was the one that always had to set such realistic limits, and was left to do so by Mr Grossart. She felt that this in turn had led to bad feeling and herself regarded in a negative light as the “hard” adult. Mrs Grossart emphasised the need for consistency as best could be achieved between the parents in the management of the children.
With regard to Rosalind, the child used to attend a dance class in Auchterarder. This started at 5.15pm. Mrs Grossart noted that three of Rosalind’s friends from school attended the dance class and there were also present local children. Mrs Grossart wished to keep the continuity for Rosalind by attendance at the dance class. For his part, Mr Grossart was said to have found this a difficult attendance on a Friday evening, particularly when he has formed plans to travel to London with the children for the weekend. On these occasions, Rosalind is not able to attend that class. Rosalind is said then to be “embarrassed” because she has missed classes and hence tuition. This is said then to place her at a disadvantage in comparison to her classmates. Because of these difficulties, the child’s attendance was said to have been sporadic and she last attended in or about April 2007. However, it was noted by way of contrast, that Ruairidh is able to attend his cricket practice at the Inch in Perth which happens on a Thursday evening. Mr and Mrs Grossart had agreed that Ruairidh must always complete his homework before attendance at the cricket practice. He tends to get back to his place of residence about 8.30pm. On these evenings, when both children are at Cloan, Rosalind stays with Roxanna for her bedtime. Mrs Grossart noted that this arrangement will become more difficult when Roxanna leaves in the autumn of 2007.
On the occasions when, as part of the standard arrangements, Rosalind arrives at Cloan on her own on a Friday after school, the child is said to be tired. However she is said sometimes to revive when she has had an evening meal. Mrs Grossart tends to try to keep Friday evenings clear so that Rosalind can relax and adjust to being at Cloan in her mother’s care. Mrs Grossart feels that Rosalind is not used at present to occupying herself and creating her own activities. Rather, Rosalind needs people around. Sometimes on a Friday night Mrs Grossart will take Rosalind for a swim. There tend to be other children from Rosalind’s school at the pool. Mrs Grossart would appreciate support from Mr Grossart for such activities.
Rosalind is occasionally upset in her mother’s company, or will also sometimes challenge the authority of Roxanna, who provides some childcare. Otherwise, Rosalind tends to settle easily. Rosalind will play with her mother, or chat with Roxanna. Mrs Grossart feels that Rosalind settles easily into her life at Cloan. However, Mrs Grossart also feels that Rosalind tends to miss Ruairidh in the periods when she is at Cloan on her own without her brother. When Ruairidh is present, both children get on well together and are “pals”. They are said to become increasingly cooperative. Mrs Grossart thinks that Ruairidh likes having Rosalind around.
Mrs Grossart expects both of the children to make small contributions to the domestic running of the home. They also do some baking.
Rosalind’s appetite for food is good. Rosalind is said to sleep well and without disturbance. Rosalind comments that she misses her mother, and Rosalind sometimes sleeps in her mother’s bed. Mrs Grossart feels that Rosalind’s health is generally good and the child is thriving.
Mrs Grossart feels that Rosalind is generally doing well at school. She acknowledges that Rosalind is sometimes anxious about phonics. However, Mrs Grossart stated that Ruairidh and Rosalind do get to school at an appropriate time.
Towards the end of each period that Rosalind spends with her mother, Mr Grossart is said to mention on the telephone his plans for the period to be spent with himself. Rosalind is said to say to her mother “Mum I’m going to miss you”. When leaving her mother at the period of a handover, Rosalind is said to give her mother a big hug, and can sometimes be clinging and tearful when she leaves Mrs Grossart. In contrast, on other occasions, the child is matter of fact and cheerful.
When Ruairidh arrives at his mother’s home, he is also sometimes tired. However, he is said to settle in without difficulty. Mrs Grossart noted that Ruairidh can, initially, try to dominate the house and be “pushy”. However, this is usually transient and he settles down. Mrs Grossart is clear that she has sometimes to set limits on Ruairidh’s behaviour. She tends to use the technique of withdrawal of privilege which she finds works. Mrs Grossart acknowledges that Ruairidh may have some difficulties of continuity, and it takes him about one day to settle into his mother’s home. In addition, she thinks it takes him time to begin to relate to people he knows associated with the Auchterarder sphere of his life.
Mrs Grossart is clear that Ruairidh is very affectionate to his mother. He eats well, and is said also to sleep soundly, tending to sleep in. When Ruairidh leaves at the end of his period at Cloan, Ruairidh is said to look forward to seeing his father.
Mrs Grossart feels that Ruairidh is generally in good health. However, she wishes to ensure that he has a proper diet.
When the children are at Cloan together they are said to get on well. There are some squabbles but nothing serious. Mrs Grossart acknowledges that both children together can be a formidable combination.
Mrs Grossart noted that she feels that Rosalind is very young to be away from her mother and that Rosalind very much needs her mother at present. Mrs Grossart feels that others cannot, albeit it with all good will, replace the essential relationship between mother and daughter. She acknowledges that this may change over time when Rosalind is older. However, at present, the time that Rosalind spends at Cloan with her mother is very positive. Mrs Grossart concluded that the arrangements as at present are reasonably suitable for Rosalind. However, she feels it would be better if Ruairidh spent more time with Rosalind. Mrs Grossart indicated that she knows that Rosalind does miss Ruairidh. She feels that Ruairidh has in general adapted to the care arrangements. Mrs Grossart feels that separations of three weeks duration during holiday periods between herself and Rosalind are probably too long, and this should be a matter of some consideration.
The above having been completed, Mrs Grossart subsequently contacted myself and indicated that she wished to arrange a further meeting. This meeting was held at Cloan on 24th June 2007. Present throughout also at Mrs Grossart’s request was Finola Meakle, who was introduced as a friend of Mrs Grossart. This lady was present throughout the interview for the purposes of “support” of Mrs Grossart. (Ms Meakle is aged 63 years. Current address is : - 44 Polworth Terrace, Edinburgh, EH11 1NJ. Telephone number - 0131 337 6995).
Mrs Grossart indicated that she had not felt able previously to broach the material that she wished now to impart.
Mrs Grossart indicated that she was the main person looking after Mr Grossart’s children from a previous marriage. That is, Mhoraig and Cathleen. Elaine Grossart was first involved in the care of the two older girls when they were aged 7 and 5 years respectively. Mr Grossart was frequently absent abroad. Mrs Grossart commented that, with hindsight, she feels that she was pulled from an active working life and established with a major role of caring for Mr Grossart’s older daughters. For her part, she felt that she succumbed to “propaganda” on the part of Mr Grossart. Mrs Grossart stated that she felt the relationship between Mhoraig and Mr Grossart was “obsessive”, in the sense that father and daughter were very close. However, she emphasised that she felt there was no sexual element in this. Meanwhile, Mr Grossart’s second daughter Cathleen was close to her own birth mother Fiona. Mrs Grossart stated that when she and Mr Grossart lived under the same roof, Mr Grossart was “working” to manoeuvre Mhoraig and Cathleen away from the care of their own birth mother. Meanwhile, Mrs Grossart also felt that she was unable to take on much else apart from domestic duties in that she was tied to care of the two older girls as their “support services”. Mrs Grossart indicated that she felt that Mr Grossart had deliberately undermined the position in the girls’ lives of their own birth mother Fiona. She noted at the time Cathleen was somewhat unwell, experiencing asthma, difficulties with her skin and also her feet. Cathleen was said to suffer from extreme eczema at the time.
Mrs Grossart stated that Mr Grossart tended to insist on putting his own daughters to bed regularly. She stated that sometimes Mr Grossart would go through to the children naked and uncovered. Upon occasion, Mr Grossart was said to have let Cathleen come into the marital bed, between husband and wife. Mrs Grossart stated that Mr Grossart was said to have wanted her to suckle Cathleen. Mrs Grossart stated that she felt extremely uncomfortable with that suggestion.
Mrs Grossart commented that she felt the interpersonal boundaries in the family at that time were wrong. This was especially so as she was not the birth mother of Cathleen or Mhoraig. She stated that she went into the project of caring for Mhoraig and Cathleen with optimism. However, she felt that she was not provided with support or respect by Mr Grossart. Mrs Grossart felt that Mr Grossart was extremely manipulative, especially so as to be seen by the children in a favourable light. However, he was very frequently absent. She felt that she had been manipulated into looking after the house and the children. In addition, Mr Grossart was said to have been extremely controlling of Mrs Grossart. She stated that he had tried to arrange 6 months of hairdresser’s appointments for her so that her hair should be as he liked it. She stated that he has a frightening temper.
Mrs Grossart indicated that she had commented to Mr Grossart that Cathleen was missing her birth mother. She felt that Cathleen was not receiving sufficient attention form Mr Grossart. For his part, Mr Grossart was said to have run down the children’s mother describing her as “inadequate”, indicating that the children required Elaine Grossart’s attention. For her part, Mrs Grossart felt that she perceived Cathleen’s needs. She felt that Cathleen tended to come off “second best” in comparison to Mhoraig. She stated that she tried to shelter the children from Mr Grossart’s alleged behaviour.
Mhoraig when young was said to have indicated to Mrs Grossart that, whilst rummaging in a briefcase in her own birth mother’s house that she had found “photos of naked people”. Mhoraig then stated that some were of naked children. Mrs Grossart stated that she had telephoned Mr Grossart in Amsterdam to ask what she should do. Later, pornographic material was said to have arrived at the house in which Mrs Grossart was living. She stated she locked these away in Mr Grossart’s cupboard.
Mrs Grossart stated further that she felt that Mr Grossart tended to lack boundaries in his sexual demands. She felt this tended to be at inappropriate times and in inappropriate settings such as a hospital. In her opinion, some of his sexual behaviour was “seedy”. In her view, this was a matter of Mr Grossart trying to gain control of others.
Elaine Grossart wished to narrate one particular incident which, she stated, occurred while she and Mr Grossart were semi separated. She was still resident at Pitlour, but the couple were “barely talking”. She stated Mr Grossart was in a bath. He was said to have expected Mrs Grossart to “do his nails”. Ruairidh was present and was said to have asked “Why do you not do Daddy’s nails?”. Mr Grossart was said to have got out of the bath, covering himself with a towel. Rosalind then requested her mother to “do Daddy’s nails”. Mrs Grossart stated that in her opinion, Mr Grossart was making approaches to herself with a view to sexual activity. She stated that he “tried to get Rosalind out of there”. Rosalind was aged approximately 4 years at the time. Mrs Grossart stated that Mr Grossart was “rubbing himself”, and, in her view, Rosalind would have been likely to have observed this. Mrs Grossart stated that she took hold of Rosalind, grasped the child to her chest, and took her to her own room. Mr Grossart was said then to have followed Mrs Grossart to her room. Mrs Grossart stated that as a result of this alleged incident, and others, she was concerned that Mr Grossart had no respect or observation for physical or other boundaries. She stated that as a result she did not trust Mr Grossart. She stated that she feels Mr Grossart lacks inhibitions. She stated further that she believes that he likes to take risks in sexual matters. She stated that she is concerned that Mr Grossart may lack boundaries and limits on his behaviour and exhibit poor judgement. For example, she feels that he may not regard the presence of children as an inhibiting factor to adult sexual activity.
In summary, Mrs Grossart indicated that she felt Mr Grossart had been disrespectful of her in or near the presence of children. She felt his behaviour lacked boundaries. She stated she did not trust him. In her view, Mr Grossart manipulates boundaries for his own “thrills”. Mrs Grossart explained that in her view the implication of these statements was that she would not wish her children to be exposed to such risks. She is concerned the children should be protected appropriately in the future.
Mrs Grossart indicated that she felt, for the future, various matters required to be considered. These were: -
1) That Ruairidh and Rosalind should not be separated,
2) That the children’s meetings with their older half siblings Mhoraig and Cathleen should continue,
3) That the children required a good education, and,
4) Her children’s requirement for stability and continuity.
Mrs Grossart felt that in the future the children should be resident with her during the academic week. They should spend alternate weekends with each parent, and, in addition, occasional days during the week with their father.
2) Hamish Grossart.
I met Mr Grossart at Pitlour. As previously, his approach to Ruairidh and Rosalind, and their well being, was careful, thoughtful, and rational, with occasional expressions of exasperation at what he perceived as continuing difficulties and conflicts in the lives of two young children. In his view, conflict between himself and Mrs Grossart continued and the major remaining issue was how to get past “constant nonsense” concerning the children. In addition, Mr Grossart was concerned that dispute and difficulty concerning the children might continue beyond the immediate involvement of the Court. He was concerned that matters be resolved so as to lower tension and make for workable arrangements to which all concerned could adhere without drama or raised hostility.
At the time of our first meeting towards the end of May 2007, it was Mr Grossart’s view that Ruairidh was doing reasonably well at school and succeeding at sport. He felt that Rosalind presented more immediate difficulties, particularly with regard as to how she should meet with her half sisters Mhoraig and Cathleen, and also that there had been two occasions when she had been distressed in a serious manner. The first occasion was in November 2006 and the second was approximately four weeks before our meeting, in the period April 2007.
Mr Grossart felt that Ruairidh is generally coping satisfactorily with his familial situation. Mr Grossart feels that Ruairidh is old enough and bright enough to have some insight into his family situation and is managing to be generally resilient in the face of any difficulties that may emerge.
During the first half of the winter term of 2006, the children together spent alternate weeks with each parent. At the time of the October holidays in 2006 the arrangements were put in place suggested by the previous Report. During the initial period before October 2006, both children were said to have been contented enough, although Ruairidh missed various weekend activities in which he would have wished to be involved. It is noted both children generally had good school reports.
During the spring term of 2007, the timetable operating brought about 4 occasions when the children were separated. Mr Grossart felt that Ruairidh coped capably with these situations. However, Rosalind was said to have been more unhappy. He noted that his daughter had a relatively poor school report, and that she seemed to lack confidence. Mr Grossart expressed concerns as to whether or not the child might have become distracted and that the rota as in place was not working for her. He was also concerned that Rosalind might have been exposed, on her own, without the support of her brother, to material emanating from Mrs Grossart which might have tended to upset Rosalind’s equilibrium.
With regard to the initial half of the summer term of 2007, Mr Grossart felt that Ruairidh had made a better start to the term. Particularly, he was arriving at school more regularly at the appointed time whilst in his mother’s care. Rosalind was coping, but seemed to have more difficulty with the rota arrangements. In addition, Mr Grossart felt there had been difficulties with telephone contact, particularly for himself when he was the “non-residential” parent. Finally, he felt there was a need for a degree of flexibility to meet the children’s arrangements and needs rather than a slavish and concrete adherence to the letter of arrangements.
Mr Grossart felt that he had implemented the arrangements, and spirit of the proposed timetable, whilst, in his view, the children’s mother had not done so.
Mr Grossart felt that there had been no willingness on the part of Mrs Grossart to address the residual difficulties concerning arrangements for the children. He noted that there had been a particularly distressing and difficult incident in September 2006. Mrs Grossart had enrolled Rosalind in ballet class in Auchterarder, which took place after school on a Friday. Mr Grossart felt that this was ill judged in that Friday was a routine “handover” night. Mr Grossart believed that Mrs Grossart hid in a classroom at Craigclowan with the child. She then took the child to ballet, contrary to the agreed timetable. Mr Grossart noted there had been various incidents at handovers throughout November 2006. These had been around the time of Rosalind’s birthday. Hence, the day before her birthday which was a Sunday the child was to travel to Pitlour. At handover in the Dobbie’s car park near Perth Mrs Grossart was said to have “screamed and swore”, and was shouting. She was said to have pulled off Mr Grossart’s glasses. Mrs Grossart then threw Mr Grossart’s mobile telephone into slurry. Thereafter, she through the telephone down a drain. Rosalind was watching this incident and had become extremely distressed. Rosalind was upset to the extent that she was telling people at a party what had occurred. When Rosalind arrived with Mr Grossart for the return handover, Mrs Grossart was said to have been present at the handover site with 4 people. Thereafter, Mr Grossart sought Interdict, but in the event, accepted an undertaking at the Bar with regard to Mrs Grossart’s conduct towards Mr Grossart and members of his family. Mr Grossart noted that, probably as a result of all these events, the procedures for handovers of the children between parents have calmed down. He regards as positive that there appear to be less overt expressions of hostility and difficulty currently in front of the children. However, Mr Grossart notes that he continues to receive telephone calls in the middle of the night (2 to 2.30am).
Mr Grossart noted that his older daughters, Mhoraig and Cathleen, were progressing well at their own stages of education, and were generally available, whenever possible, to Ruairidh and Rosalind.
Mr Grossart noted with a sense of concern that there had been a further difficult incident on the 10th May 2007. On this occasion, Mr Grossart had been away from Pitlour attending a Board meeting. Ruairidh was being looked after by his paternal grandmother. Ruairidh had developed earache. The child’s condition had improved by the morning. Thus, he was taken to school by his paternal grandfather, a retired medical practitioner. Mrs Grossart was present at the school and was said to have been “vitriolic” to Dr Grossart, in Ruairidh’s presence. For his part, Ruairidh was said to have tried to calm his mother and asked her not to make a scene. This incident appears to have been the subject of correspondence between agents for each party. Mr Grossart indicated his major concern was adult altercation in front of Ruairidh and in a setting that Ruairidh would have found particularly sensitive (that is, school). Mr Grossart indicated that, if one extrapolates from his interpretation of this incident to Mrs Grossart’s likely conduct from time to time, then he was concerned about Rosalind, particularly if she was alone for periods under her mother’s influence. To that extent, he speculated that a change in the rota system might be to Rosalind’s benefit.
With regard to telephone contact, Mr Grossart wishes, and feels that he should, speak to the children regularly when they are not resident with him. Mr Grossart indicated that when Mrs Grossart calls, Mr Grossart will put the children on the line to their mother. For his part, Mr Grossart tries to call the children between 6 and 6.30pm. If he does not speak to the children he leaves messages every night. He notes that, since October 2006, these messages are seldom returned. If Mrs Grossart does not call the children while they are at Pitlour, Mr Grossart suggests that the children call their mother. He feels that, now, essentially, Mrs Grossart does as she wishes with regard to telephone contact. If Mrs Grossart calls Pitlour to speak to one or both of the children, the children are left to speak to their mother in private. If Mr Grossart calls the children at Cloan, and Mrs Grossart is not present, the children will chat to their father easily. He feels they tend to be more inhibited if Mrs Grossart is present. Mr Grossart is clear that he rings every night and leaves messages. He feels that, in essence, there is a very marked double standard being operated whereby Mr Grossart tries to facilitate telephone contact, and Mrs Grossart does not.
Mr Grossart feels that Ruairidh is developing as a normal and intelligent 9 year old. Mrs Grossart picks Ruairidh up from school on relevant days. Mr Grossart indicated he has missed two occasions since October. Mr Grossart takes Ruairidh to school each day when relevant. Mr Grossart commented, with obvious approval, that Ruairidh is “a keen chap” in school and in sporting activities. Ruairidh undertakes a variety of activities. He is involved in a drama club and cricket, and will participate in swimming after the summer half term. Ruairidh gets on well with his peers. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays he has no activities after school, and hence may go swimming or shooting with his father. On Thursdays, Ruairidh has games late after school, and attends cricket practice. If both children are residing with Mr Grossart on a particular week, the children’s paternal grandmother, Mrs Grossart Senior, helps with childcare arrangements. In general, Ruairidh does prep between 5 and 6pm and then activities.
Ruairidh’s bedtime is between 8.30 and 8.45pm. He falls asleep easily and sleeps soundly. He does not rise during the night, and now does not climb into his father’s bed during the night. Ruairidh likes a small night light only. He wakes at about 6.45am and is bright in the morning.
Mr Grossart feels that Ruairidh is eating well, and is active.
Ruairidh has friends at school. These boys tend also to overlap into cricket or rugby activities. These friends also tend to be involved in weekend activities. He is said to be friendly with the children of Mr Grossart’s housekeeper. His friends sometimes stay at Pitlour.
Mr Grossart also noted that his current lady friend has an 8 year old son named Oliver. Ruairidh and Oliver get on well together. Ruairidh’s cousins also visit Pitlour frequently. Hence, Ruairidh has various groups of friends based on school, the local area, and family.
Mr Grossart noted that Ruairidh has a strong sense of justice.
Mr Grossart feels that Ruairidh is generally happy, although he feels that it would be especially helpful to Ruairidh if the boy’s parents were able to cooperate.
Ruairidh continues to attend Craigclowan Preparatory School in Perth. It is noted that he is young for his class, and will require to repeat a year at some point. Mr Grossart feels it is most likely that Ruairidh aught to repeat Year 7, and thereafter, if agreeable to all, proceed to Fettes. Mr Grossart notes all of this is approximately 4 years away and hence decisions are not imminent. However, he notes that he cannot discuss such matters with Mrs Grossart as there is no forum to do so.
Mr Grossart notes, and is concerned, that Ruairidh has to “manage” the politics of the family situation. Mr Grossart indicated that he felt that, so far as Ruairidh was concerned, a rota that involved shared equal time with both parents would work well for Ruairidh, so long as Ruairidh was allowed some flexibility to attend activities variously in which he is involved and enjoys at weekends. Mr Grossart felt that there required to be recognition of Ruairidh’s involvement in activities and the necessary flexibility of timetable that would be required to allow Ruairidh’s participation from time to time.
In terms of the present operating arrangements, Rosalind spends one week out of each 3 with her father at Pitlour. At first, Rosalind appeared to be resentful and awkward, and very much involved in the dynamics of the family and parental difficulties. Mr Grossart noted that at the beginning of each visit, it took her approximately a day to relax to her normal self. However, increasingly, Rosalind appears relaxed with the arrangements and to understand them, to Mr Grossart’s relief. However, he notes that Rosalind can be somewhat headstrong, and will occasionally make comments to the effect “Mummy says I don’t have to speak to you on the phone”. Currently when Rosalind is picked up at school by Mr Grossart at handover there is no fuss and she is glad to see her father. At Pitlour she is sleeping well without disturbance and with no wet beds. She sleeps with her light out and the door shut. However, Rosalind likes her father to lie on her bed until she is asleep. She likes her father to hold her hand as she falls asleep. Rosalind tends to rise early in the morning and dresses herself. She is generally happy then.
Mr Grossart notes that there had been a series of “assertion battles” during which Rosalind tries to exploit the differences between her parents. Mr Grossart feels that in general he has succeeded in setting limits appropriately for Rosalind, and which the child now accepts. Mr Grossart recalled that one particular area of disagreement had been that Rosalind’s hair should be brushed. She now accepts and does this. Mr Grossart feels that Rosalind now knows where the boundaries are in her father’s home in terms of her own behaviour. As a result Rosalind is settled and generally amenable at Pitlour. She tends to respond to adult requests, and appears settled and happy.
Rosalind and Ruairidh spent the Christmas period at Pitlour. Their older half sisters were present. Both children tried to phone Cloan, but could not get through.
Mr Grossart notes that Rosalind has been away for holiday periods with himself of 2 weeks duration on several occasions and been quite comfortable. He notes that Mrs Grossart tends to claim that 2 weeks is long enough for Rosalind to be away from Mrs Grossart as her mother. However, Mr Grossart feels that Rosalind is quite capable of coping with separation from her mother beyond a period of 2 weeks duration.
Mr Grossart indicated that he has a lady friend named Kara. Their relationship began in September 2006. This lady has one son aged 8 years, named Oliver. Mr Grossart sees his relationship with this lady developing. He notes that Rosalind and Ruairidh know this lady and her son. They have also visited London as a family group.
Mr Grossart felt that the only major difficulties apart from the continued friction and “incidents” between himself and Mrs Grossart, concerned Rosalind in terms of her school performance. He was concerned that the child was developing an unhelpful attitude towards school and learning and, in addition, was being kept off school. A further general difficulty was reaching sustainable arrangements whereby both Rosalind and Ruairidh met with their older half sisters.
Mr Grossart described various difficulties in the period September 2006 to January 2007. Difficulties variously but consistently surrounding telephone contact, changing of schedules (for example Rosalind’s ballet lessons) and availability of school uniform. Mr Grossart indicated that there had been abusive phone calls to himself and also to Dr Grossart (the children’s paternal grandfather) by Mrs Grossart. Mr Grossart felt there had been difficulties in terms of telephone messages not being passed on to the children when in their mother’s care. Mr Grossart was also concerned that he had not been advised of a period when Rosalind was off school for much of a fortnight towards the end of January 2007 when in the care of her mother. In June 2007, Mr Grossart felt that many of these difficulties, or the potential for their occurrence, continued.
Given Mrs Grossart comments noted above, I discussed with Mr Grossart his views on family nakedness or otherwise within the home. We agreed that views and policies on these matters varied widely within society, and that usually such matters were a matter of agreement and policy within each family group or household, based, essentially, on the level of comfort of those involved. Mr Grossart was able without difficulty to articulate his own general policies on such matters. He notes that, for example, he sleeps in shorts, and seldom naked. If, for example, younger children ran into a bathroom when he was naked in the bath, he would not take elaborate steps to cover himself. If a child entered a lavatory whilst he was urinating, he would tend to turn away to limit the child’s field of vision. Mr Grossart indicated that, having had the experience of bringing up 2 older, now adult daughters, he had felt it appropriate to become very much more cautious about such matters as nakedness and bodily functions when Mhoraig and Cathleen were aged about 8 or 9 years. He felt that about this age boundaries became more necessary and appropriate.
Mr Grossart indicated some concern that Ruairidh had been tending to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself; Mr Grossart had indicated to Ruairidh that he should feel free to discuss matters as he felt the need. Mr Grossart felt that Rosalind had been happier and more settled in the second half of the school summer term.
With reference to the comments on Mrs Grossart’s alleged earlier behaviour, Mr Grossart indicated that he was concerned that the children were continually exposed to what he regards as Mrs Grossart’s at times ill judged, impulsive and disinhibited behaviour.
For the future. Mr Grossart felt that handovers of the children between parents in a non school setting tended to exacerbate difficulty and should, if possible, be avoided. He noted that, as a corollary, this then also rendered organised activities for the children after school on a Friday difficult particularly out with a school setting. He felt that the exception might be if the handovers took place within school grounds or premises. He felt that such arrangements tended to maintain calm, and hence make matters easier for the children at the periods of handovers. Hence, in his view, it would be sensible to make use of activities and facilities based primarily around school. Mr Grossart felt it preferable if the children were involved in extra curricula activities preferably from a Monday to Thursday, with, if possible, no permanent obligations on a Friday evening, albeit with ad hoc arrangements from time to time as required.
Mr Grossart was concerned that Mrs Grossart had taken administrative steps to have mail addressed to both of the children redirected to Cloan. Firstly, a letter to Rosalind from Mhoraig had been redirected to Cloan. Secondly, the results for a poetry competition into which Ruairidh had entered had been redirected to Cloan, and lain there whilst Ruairidh’s friends and colleagues had received their results. In addition, Mr Grossart indicated that he understood Mrs Grossart had, in Ruairidh’s absence, opened the relevant envelope. Hence, Mr Grossart felt that matters of mail redirection should be lifted. He presumed that in general those addressing mail for both Ruairidh and Rosalind would decide appropriately to where relevant mail should be addressed.
Concern was expressed about the place of registration for the children for medical general practice and dentistry. Mr Grossart was concerned that, given the children’s pattern of oscillating between 2 home bases, difficulty might be experienced in recovering records and other relevant documentation if information were not available concerning the relevant base. Mr Grossart feels that this matter requires to be addressed for longer term stability for the children. With specific reference to health matters, Mr Grossart is aware that Ruairidh can suffer from hay fever and may wheeze from time to time. However, he noted that recently both children arrived with “puffers” which had been medically prescribed. Mr Grossart questioned the need for Rosalind to have such apparatus. Mr Grossart questioned the judgement of the children’s mother and perhaps an emotionally heightened climate of medical consultation with an element of drama, such that the child might have been prescribed inappropriately. Mr Grossart was concerned that there should not be unnecessary medication for either child. Further, he was concerned that there was a lack of mechanism by which the parents could discuss such matters affecting their children. Such communication as it exists directly between the parents is by email only. Mr Grossart felt there is a need for telephone contact to be more available and work in a reliable and relaxed manner.
Mr Grossart expressed concern about the academic progress of both children. He is concerned that Mrs Grossart would not adhere to academic policies or insist on work being done. Hence, he was against either child spending more time at Cloan in the company of their mother. Mr Grossart emphasised the importance of educational focus and achievement for both of the children.
Mr Grossart indicated that during the spring term of 2007, he understood that when Rosalind was with her mother, Rosalind would arrive at school between 8.35am and 9.20am. When in the care of her father, she would arrive between 8am and 8.10am. Mr Grossart understood that it was felt that when Ruairidh was staying with his mother he was occasionally late. Ruairidh would give the reason for his lateness that his sister could not get up in the morning.
Mr Grossart speculated that one arrangement whereby he could have more input to the academic efforts of both children would be for Rosalind to adhere to the same present arrangements as Ruairidh, but perhaps spend more weekends in the company of her mother.
Mr Grossart is also concerned that, whatever final arrangements were decided, Ruairidh had particular sporting interests which would involve him being in the company of his father at, or based upon, Pitlour. Mr Grossart thought it would be helpful for Ruairidh if Ruairidh’s attendance at Pitlour on relevant weekends could be made very specific. Mr Grossart was concerned that it might be difficult to ensure Ruairidh’s attendance at such events by means of “reasonable flexibility” only.
3) Observation of Ruairidh and Rosalind at Cloan on 24th June 2007.
Both children were, on this occasion, in the care of their mother. Both Ruairidh and Rosalind appeared relaxed, content, and cooperative with each other. It is noteworthy that the weather was poor, with rain. However, both children appeared quite content to play within the house. Mrs Grossart had provided a train set equipment, and both children were absorbed with each other, and also with their mother, in setting this up and working out how it might be used. This led to much discussion and cooperative effort. Neither child was demanding or disgruntled. Both children were relaxed and affectionate towards their mother, and dealt easily with each other. Both children wandered around the house spontaneously. Ruairidh enjoyed some time on his own on a computer. He explained various matters to Rosalind (and also myself!). Both children related in a relaxed and appropriate manner towards Roxanna Cazacu, a young lady who currently lived in Mrs Grossart’s home, and assisted with childcare from time to time.
4) Observation of Ruairidh and Rosalind at Pitlour, on 11th June 2007.
On this occasion, both children were, as part of the current arrangements, residing in the care of Mr Grossart at Pitlour.
Upon my arrival, present were Rosalind, who had been collected from school by her father, Mr Grossart himself, and Mrs Grossart Senior, the children’s paternal grandmother. Ruairidh was attending after-school cricket practice at Strathallan, and was to be collected later.
Rosalind was pleasant and welcoming. I gained an impression of a calmer and more mature child than when we had met previously in the summer of 2006. She appeared very much more able to attend and listen. Both Mr Grossart and Rosalind’s grandmother related to Rosalind pleasantly, and Rosalind responded in a socially able and charming manner. However, Rosalind appeared very content. At one point she became somewhat demanding when not immediately given her own way. However, she responded to a calm reasoning approach, and the incident passed. Mr Grossart and Rosalind appeared to have very pleasant and calm interaction. Rosalind was very interested in some Golden Retriever puppies which had been born at Pitlour. It was noticeable also that Rosalind dealt in a very pleasant and well mannered fashion with new owners who came to collect a puppy. Rosalind also dealt well with the understanding that the puppy would then be going away from her field of influence and care.
Mr Grossart and myself then went to collect Ruairidh from cricket practice, leaving Rosalind, quite contently, in the care of her paternal grandmother.
When met, Ruairidh initially appeared tired, having had both examinations and cricket practice that day. However, Ruairidh soon perked up, and requested to play some cricket practice with his father. This then occurred, to Ruairidh’s obvious enjoyment and satisfaction. Father and son continued to have an easy and relaxed relationship to what appears to be mutual satisfaction.
The children interacted pleasantly with each other and also with their father and grandmother. Both children were attentive to Mrs Grossart Senior. Rosalind was on one occasion somewhat demanding of Mr Grossart’s attention, and attempting to interpose herself between Ruairidh and his father. However, Mr Grossart dealt with the incident calmly, reasonably and equitably. Both children clearly enjoyed the Golden Retriever puppies. Both children played cooperatively. For his part, Mr Grossart related pleasantly to both children, and took care to balance his attention. Both children were clearly very much at ease with Mr Grossart and at Pitlour. Their fondness for their paternal grandmother was clear.
During my visit, the children’s older sister Mhoraig arrived with a friend. Both children, but particularly Rosalind, appeared pleased to see Mhoraig. It was noticeable that Rosalind maintained a physical closeness to Mhoraig while she was there. Rosalind clearly attended to her older sister.
Both Ruairidh and Rosalind appeared to derive pleasure from being part of their extended paternal family.
5) Mr Rathborn, Mrs Radcliffe and Ms Stamp, staff of Craigclowan Preparatory School, Perth.
Mr Rathborn explained that he has been the new Head Master of Craigclowan since the beginning of the summer term of 2007, upon the retiral of Mr Beale. Mr Rathborn acknowledged that he was gaining familiarity with the position concerning Ruairidh and Rosalind. He felt that the policy of the school was to try and keep matters stable and calm for the children, and not to take any partisan position. He understood there had been “the odd incident” in the school car park. He thought that Ruairidh had occasionally been upset.
Mrs Radcliffe is Ruairidh’s form teacher. In her view, Ruairidh is capable but under achieving. She felt that Ruairidh was not as organised in class as she had previously believed. She used as an example revision sheets for examinations which had been provided at Easter. These sheets were organised to provide structured revision of syllabus points, one point per night. She indicated that these had been given out in ample time for revision to occur. Mrs Radcliff noted that Ruairidh appeared somewhat unprepared for the examinations. Mrs Radcliff commented that Mr Grossart had indicated that the child was with his mother the week before the exams. However, Mrs Radcliffe felt that this was irrelevant, given the lead time there had been allowed for structured revision. In her view, Ruairidh achieves when Mr Grossart is focussed on Ruairidh’s academic functioning in the day to day. She commented that both parents tend to blame each other for any academic shortcomings, in her view this must stop. She feels that Ruairidh does not respond well to parental bickering.
Mrs Radcliffe commented that Ruairidh to some extent lacks self motivation. She notes that Ruairidh has had recurring chest infections and ear infections, but feels that these conditions only explain in part a lack of progress and downturn in performance in Ruairidh’s academic functioning. She feels there is a lack of engagement in class, and notes “vague responses” to questions about arrangements for preparation. She notes that Ruairidh’s exam scripts showed little evidence of revision. This was apparently particularly obvious in grammar and project areas. In Mrs Radcliffe’s view, there is little academic support by either parent. She feels that Ruairidh is “floundering”, and he is being overtaken by less able children in test situations.
Mrs Radcliffe feels that Mr and Mrs Grossart have different ways of dealing with Ruairidh academically. Mrs Grossart tends to encourage, whilst Mr Grossart expresses disappointment if results are not as expected.
Mrs Radcliffe is clear that it would be helpful for Ruairidh if his parents could agree on what might reasonably be expected of their son and both supported him accordingly. She feels that there must be some consistency between the parents in their communicated expectations.
Mrs Radcliffe provided class position information for various subjects. In November 2006, Ruairidh was positioned 2nd tied in Mathematics, and by June 2007 had fallen to position of 12th tied. On project work in November 2006 he was 7th tied and by June 2007 had fallen to 18th out of 23 in his class group. In November 2006 in French he was 11th tied and had fallen to 17th by June 2007. She acknowledges that Ruairidh is young for his class but feels that matters must improve. She notes that Ruairidh wishes to be involved in school games teams, and feels that such an opportunity might be made partly conditional on academic performance.
Ms Stamp is Rosalind’s teacher. She notes that Rosalind is repeating a year. In Ms Stamp’s view, Rosalind is not at a standard that might be expected. It is felt that she is struggling academically, particularly with language work. She is not achieving to potential. It is felt that Rosalind needs help with her reading. However, her mathematical ability is said to be good. It is noted that Rosalind tends to be functioning more competently when she arrives at school on time. She arrives on time when brought by her father, but on other occasions can be late when brought by her mother. Ms Stamp expressed concerns that Mrs Grossart was not recognising or acting upon Rosalind’s academic needs.
Ms Stamp wondered whether Rosalind might be finding difficulty in moving from house to house. She believes that Rosalind misses Ruairidh when he is not present. She feels that Ruairidh’s presence at weekends would be helpful to Rosalind. She feels this little girl needs emphasis upon peer relationships. She acknowledges that Rosalind is generally accepted by her peers in the school, and she has a group of friends, but no particularly close peer relationships. Ms Stamp feels that the matter of Rosalind’s peer relationships requires attention. She suggested that Rosalind might attend ballet classes on Friday after academic classes, at school. There is also an Art class on Wednesdays after school, and both would provide opportunities for Rosalind to interact with her peers.
6) Mrs Grossart Senior.
Mrs Grossart is the children’s paternal grandmother. She spoke with sympathy and concern for her grandchildren. Mrs Grossart lives in Edinburgh. She visits Pitlour every second week, staying from a Sunday evening through until the following Friday. She notes that this takes her away from other commitments from time to time. She feels that her role at Pitlour when there is to help with general domestic matters such as shopping and occasional childcare. She feels that her role is that of “generally helping out”. She notes that she has only looked after the children overnight on 2 nights since September 2006, on each occasion when Mr Grossart was away.
Mrs Grossart Senior feels that, in particular, Rosalind is now far more relaxed and happier when compared with the summer of 2006. She notes that she and Rosalind are getting on very well together currently. She also feels that the child is doing better at school. She stated that Mr Grossart helps Rosalind with her homework and that this is to the child’s benefit.
Mrs Grossart expressed more concern currently for Ruairidh, feeling that Ruairidh is very much concerned with family matters and the conflict between his parents.
7) Ms Roxanna Cazacu.
Ms Cazacu is a young Romanian lady who has lived in Mrs Grossart’s home at Cloan for approximately one year. She has employment in the Auchterarder area. Since the summer of 2006, she has helped, sometimes, as required, with childcare for Ruairidh and Rosalind when they are living with their mother.
Ms Cazacu feels that the children are coping reasonably well some of the time. However, they both speak frequently to her of antagonism and conflict between their parents. For example, if she is putting Rosalind to bed at night, Rosalind will try to discuss relations between her parents. The child will, for example say that “Daddy is trying to give Mummy small things”. Rosalind is said also to comment that she “hears Daddy say nasty things about Mummy”. Rosalind is said to be concerned that both her mother and father form new relationships which are pleasant. Rosalind is said also to be exploring the idea of having 2 houses and 2 sets of rules. Ms Cazacu felt that Mrs Grossart tends to back up Mr Grossart, but, in contrast, Mr Grossart tends not to support Mrs Grossart. Rather, she feels, Mr Grossart tries to “change the rules” and conditions for the children.
Ms Cazacu feels the children do settle at Cloan satisfactorily now. The children will initiate play well on their own. She believes that Rosalind misses Ruairidh when he is not there. She feels that Rosalind is “very needy of someone” when Ruairidh is not present. In her view, the children would be more satisfactorily placed always together. She feels then they would learn to share. Initially when they have been apart they tend to squabble but then settle. They then learn to negotiate and give in to each other. She feels the children are gradually becoming easier to deal with.
Ms Cazacu feels the children are greatly improved in recent months. She feels they are making progress in their lives and their manners are easier. She feels they are both much more relaxed than previously. She notes also they have learnt to make requests of others pleasantly.
Both children are said to sleep well at Cloan. She noted that Ruairidh tends to sleep in his mother’s bed most nights when he is at Cloan. When Ruairidh first arrives, after 2 or 3 days, he will ask for physical contact and cuddles, and will also accept them. He is said not to be embarrassed or upset by physical demonstrations of affection at Cloan. Initially, when Ruairidh arrives, he is said to be somewhat “overconfident”, but then relaxes. Ms Cazacu feels that Ruairidh still has some difficulties of listening and being obedient with his mother. This also extends to Ms Cazacu herself. She feels that Ruairidh is probably more obedient to the wishes of his father. Ms Cazacu commented that Mrs Grossart will sometimes shout, but in annoyance, and not making negative comments about anyone in particular.
Ruairidh is said to comment “Dad says the food here is gross, and what granny does is best”. Ms Cazacu feels that Ruairidh is influenced by such comments. She is concerned that Mr Grossart makes all activities into competitions for the children, and she feels that this shows. She doubts the wisdom of such an approach. She feels that Ruairidh is very confident, and can be arrogant in manner, even when he is wrong. In contrast, she feels that Rosalind lacks confidence and tends to be dismissed by Ruairidh. However, upon occasion he can be helpful and compassionate towards her. Ms Cazacu emphasised that Ruairidh does have a capacity to be both kind and helpful to others. She was however concerned that Ruairidh had informed Rosalind that ballet was “crap”. He was said also to have tried to have put Rosalind off horse riding.
Ms Cazacu indicated that she would be returning to Romania permanently in or about September 2007.
8) Ruairidh Grossart (aged 9 years 6 months).
I met Ruairidh at my clinic at King’s Park Hospital on 13th and 25th June 2007. Each session was of approximately one hour duration. On the first occasion he was brought by his father, then on the second occasion by his mother.
We both recalled our acquaintanceship, and discussions in the summer of 2006. Ruairidh appeared friendly and relaxed in manner. He has clearly grown physically in the last year. On both meetings, he appeared clean, well groomed, and suitably dressed.
Ruairidh indicated that he was generally “fine”. He is currently at the end of the equivalent of the Primary 5 Year. He felt that his academic year had gone pretty well. He has finished his exams. His class teacher this year has been a Mrs Radcliffe. He thinks she is a “nice lady”, is a very good teacher, and she has a sense of humour. He thinks that he has coped reasonably well academically, although also feels his work was “not his best”. He indicated that he will “work harder next year”.
Ruairidh has kept his friends, and they are the same as last year. He has been busy with sport including cricket and athletics, hockey, tennis and swimming. He plays football. He thinks that he is physically fairly fit. School finishes on July 6th.
Ruairidh knows that he is young for his academic year at Craigclowan. He understands that there is a possible option of either repeating Form 7 at Craigclowan or perhaps visiting Australia for a year. Thereafter, he would like to attend Fettes as his first choice, failing which Strathallan. He commented that he feels quite favourable about being a border at school. He thinks he would welcome the opportunity of a trip to Australia because of the sporting opportunities. He commented he does not think he would be homesick. However, he acknowledges he might miss his family, but he commented with humour “not so much” that he would leave whatever he was involved with.
Ruairidh described accurately the current arrangements for his time between his father and his mother. He knows he spends 2 weeks with his father and then one week with his mother. He understands that school holidays are divided equally between his parents. He feels that is quite appropriate. The summer holidays will be of 7 weeks duration and he envisages a straight 3 ½ weeks spent with each parent. He anticipates that Rosalind will have the equivalent arrangements at the same times.
With regard to the residence arrangements which presently apply during term times, Ruairidh commented that they were “perfect for him” as presently structured. He noted that there are particular periods (typically August through to February) when there are shooting weekends, and he would very much wish to participate. He notes there is sometimes a dinner on the Friday night of the weekend at which he would also like to be present. He commented that he would be happy to swap weekends between parents as required to accommodate these particular calendar events. Ruairidh indicated that he was not sure whether or not his mother was aware of his wish to attend these events.
If Ruairidh is to spend a week at his mother’s home, his father could take him to school on a Monday and his mother pick him up from school on the Monday evening.
With the exception of the weekend fixtures noted above, Ruairidh feels that the present arrangements are quite acceptable. He notes there is one week when he does not see Rosalind. He indicated that he does not, particularly, meet Rosalind in school hours, although he may occasionally see her in passing. So far as Ruairidh is concerned, it is not a difficulty if he does not see Rosalind for a week. He feels that he has the advantage of being able to focus on male activities with his father during that time. He commented that Rosalind can be “noisy”, and he quite likes peace and quiet. He feels that in Rosalind’s absence there is no conflict, and he can enjoy his father’s company to himself. He does, however, understand that Rosalind might be somewhat lonely during the weeks when they are separated.
Ruairidh indicated that he had considered the possibility of spending alternate periods of 2 weeks duration with each of his parents. He felt this would be less welcome than the present arrangements. Rather, he is quite at ease with the present arrangements, albeit with a provision for weekends to be spent on specific fixtures.
Ruairidh thinks there are still difficulties between his parents. He thinks that his mother keeps sending his father emails about school uniform matters. Ruairidh commented there were “two pairs of school shorts” in each home. However, he believes his mother bought shorts that were too small for him, whilst the ones his father bought were an appropriate size. Ruairidh noted that he understands matters of cost. He understands that, perhaps through difficulties of communication, his parents are not coordinating matters appropriately. However, he commented with considerable emphasis that, above all things, he “wants squabbling to stop”, and this particularly about what he regards as minor matters such as school uniform. He understands his father becomes annoyed that his mother will send a bill to his father for items that, so far as Ruairidh knows, his mother should be paying for. Ruairidh feels much that goes on between his parents is petty. He would like his parents to stop arguing. Particularly he would like arguing over petty matters to stop immediately. This having been said, he feels that everyone in the family is calmer than they were last summer.
Ruairidh comments that he likes visiting his mother’s house, and he feels that matters go well there. He feels that sometimes his mother “goes on” about his father, Mhoraig, and Ruairidh’s paternal grandmother. He finds that very difficult. He thinks that his mother has calmed down “a bit”, but she is “still cross”.
Ruairidh emphasised strongly that he acknowledges that his father has his opinions, and his mother has her opinions. However, in Ruairidh’s view, his parents should “get on with life” “instead of being cross with people”.
Ruairidh feels he is fairly clear about his own wishes concerning his family and upbringing. In contrast, he feels that Rosalind tends to change her mind frequently, depending on whose home she is living in at the time.
Ruairidh has met his father’s new lady friend, Kara. This lady has a son, Ollie, who is aged 8 years. Ruairidh has visited London with his father to meet these people. He likes Kara and her son.
Ruairidh described holiday arrangements with his father for a group to visit Madeira. Ruairidh indicated he was looking forward to this.
On our second meeting, Ruairidh was brought to the clinic by his mother. Once again, Ruairidh appeared relaxed and happy. He was anticipating the end of school, and summer holidays with both his father and his mother. He thought the “summer looked okay”.
Ruairidh reiterated that, within the context of domestic arrangements, he does not mind if Rosalind is present or not. This is particularly because, in her absence, he gets to do what he wants and does not have to share. He acknowledges that Rosalind can be good fun but is “sometimes a pain”. So far as he is concerned, the present arrangements work well. As he indicated previously, he would like there to be an arrangement whereby he could attend sporting events such as shoots, perhaps with his father picking him up on a Friday then being returned to his mother on the Monday if that was appropriate. He felt that time with his mother could be made up later by arrangement.
Ruairidh also confirmed that he feels that the atmosphere in his family has calmed down somewhat. However, there were still difficult elements. Ruairidh quoted as an example an incident that had occurred at about the time that Mr Rathborn, the new Head Master, had arrived at the end of the Easter holidays. Ruairidh was staying, on a Thursday night, at his father’s house. Ruairidh had suffered earache. His paternal grandfather then took him to school the following morning. Ruairidh recalled that his mother made “a huge fuss”. Ruairidh commented that he asked his mother to calm down. Ruairidh stated he was extremely embarrassed as this scene took place in front of his peers who observed what was happening. Ruairidh recalled his extreme embarrassment. He felt that the message for all adults involved was that they should not argue in public or in front of the children. He recalled that his teacher was involved which he found particularly difficult. Ruairidh indicated he had been extremely upset by this incident. He had however had to keep quiet and felt he could not say anything to his mother about this. He wishes everyone in the family to calm down. He feels that there is still a need for progress on this matter, but things are somewhat calmer than previously.
Ruairidh knows that, at his father’s house, his paternal grandparents will look after himself and Rosalind if necessary if his father is away at a Board meeting in London or Edinburgh. Ruairidh commented this happens very seldom.
Ruairidh finds it difficult in that sometimes his mother becomes extremely angry, and “goes on” about Mr Grossart’s family, including Ruairidh’s father, Ruairidh’s paternal grandparents, and Mhoraig and Cathleen. Ruairidh commented that he thinks “get over it Mum”. Sometimes Ruairidh in turn becomes annoyed by this anger because he feels his mother “goes on and on”. He noted that his mother had not behaved in such a manner in the past week, and he acknowledged that she “hardly does it at all now”. Sometimes she will express such anger about once a week. He feels most uncomfortable when this occurs and he wishes his mother would not do it. He feels that the Grossarts are half of his extended family. He feels this should be acknowledged in a realistic way.
Ruairidh feels that his father is calm, and tries to keep matters that way. He feels that his father was more upset and angry in the past, but is very much better now. He is aware sometimes of his father’s irritation concerning family matters. He was aware that his father thought that his mother was “trying to mess up the holidays by saying Rosalind would be away too long”. Ruairidh commented that he feels “stressed” when all of this is happening.
Ruairidh notes that at his mother’s house, Rosalind has 3 bicycles. Ruairidh suspects that in that setting Rosalind might be acquiring more belongings than himself.
With regard to telephone contact, Ruairidh thinks that his mother will let him speak to his father by telephone at her house if Ruairidh so wishes. However, sometimes, Ruairidh’s mother forgets telephone contact. Ruairidh thinks this might be deliberate. He is aware his mother wishes telephone calls to be received between 6pm and 6.30pm. Ruairidh knows that sometimes his father cannot adhere to that period. Hence, Ruairidh suggests that it might be reasonable for his father to call anytime between 5pm and 7pm. Ruairidh thinks that his mother may unplug the phone. He and Rosalind sometimes speak to their father by landline when their mother is not present. Ruairidh suspects his mother is being “childish” about the matter of telephone contact. Ruairidh feels that telephone discussions with his father are important. Hence he would wish all the adults involved to be reasonable and “stop messing about”. Ruairidh knows that when he is at his father’s and his mother calls, he will speak to his mother at any time. Occasionally one of the children will say they do not wish to speak to their mother, but eventually tend to do so. If Ruairidh wishes to speak to his mother, he will sometimes suggest he finishes what he is doing and then he will call her back. His father is quite accepting of this arrangement and there is no difficulty.
With regard to school and academic performance, Ruairidh acknowledged soberly that he knows he is not performing at his best at present. He feels somewhat demotivated. He indicated that he feels preoccupied with family matters and the situation between his mother and father at present “three quarters of the time”. He does try to think about work but cannot always do so. He is worried about both of his parents, and feels that they need to sort matters out between themselves. He feels he is caught in the middle of the parental conflict. This is very much on his mind. He looks to his parents to restore some semblance of calm and order to family matters. He notes that he feels upset. He feels edgy. Sometimes he is involved in fights at school. He thinks he may over react. For example, on one occasion he kicked a boy who had pushed into him. Ruairidh notes that next term he will probably be in the academic middle set, rather than the top set where he feels he should be. He would like to be able to focus and concentrate on work and his sporting activities rather than a preoccupation with family and parental difficulties.
Ruairidh confirmed that the present arrangements in general he finds suitable for himself. He repeated his concern for there to be some flexibility about certain weekends when he would wish to attend specific events.
Ruairidh indicated that the major matters affecting himself had been discussed, and his views and feelings understood. He would wish these communicated to the adults involved in his life.
9) Rosalind Grossart (currently aged 6 years 8 months).
Rosalind also attended my clinic at King’s Park on 13th and 25th June 2007. As with her older brother, she was brought by her father to the first appointment, and her mother to the second appointment.
On both occasions, Rosalind was open, chatty and engaging, with a happy and relaxed manner. As with Ruairidh, she appeared appropriately dressed and well cared for.
Rosalind and myself acknowledged our previous acquaintance, and she commented that she could remember visiting the clinic previously. She thinks that she has grown since the last visit, and she also commented that she felt her clothes reflected her now increased maturity.
Rosalind indicated that she had just repeated Form 1 at Craigclowan. This was because her mother and father thought she was not old enough to progress earlier. She thought that repeating the year was a good idea. Her teacher is Ms Stamp. Rosalind knows that her teacher’s first name is “Tracy” but Rosalind always refers to her as “Ms Stamp”. Her teacher is young. Rosalind likes her. Rosalind feels that school has been “fine” through the year.
At school she has studied Phonics, English, story writing, Maths and painting. In story writing she describes what has happened at weekends. In her most recent production she had written about “the puppies” (see above; this seems very appropriate and representative). She finds Maths, including adding and taking away, “really fun”. She also spoke enthusiastically about painting, and that she had done a Father’s Day card for her dad Hamish. She described this with enthusiasm.
At school she described various friends. She noted that in her class are 6 girls and 10 boys. She feels she has good relations with all of the girls including a couple of best pals. However she feels they are all pleasant to each other. They play Lego, and draw together.
Rosalind commented that she goes to parties, and she feels she has an appropriate number of friends.
Rosalind then moved, with enthusiasm, onto the topic once again of the puppies. She thought they were keeping a boy dog at Pitlour. She described how she had visited a lady’s home to see one of the puppies which had been placed. (This coincides accurately with arrangements made at the time of a visit).
After the summer, Rosalind thinks that she will be in Class 2B. She does not know her teacher yet. She thinks that school is going well enough. She notes the only thing she does not like is story writing. She enjoys the rest of the work, and also outside activities such as sport and play. She notes that she likes to be early at school.
Rosalind knew that she would be going abroad for her holidays with her father and her older sisters and Ruairidh. She thought there were also plans for her to go abroad with Ruairidh with her mother.
Rosalind describes how she sometimes lives with her father and sometimes with her mother. She was able to explain accurately the present arrangements. However, she felt that she would like to live with her father for 2 weeks and then her mother for 2 weeks. Particularly importantly, she would wish to be with Ruairidh all the time, and not separated from him. She feels it is “fine” staying at her father’s house. She comments she does not like it when her father shouts at her. However, she acknowledges this only happens when she does not do as she is told. She feels that her father’s reprimands are fair enough. She thinks she is sometimes a bit naughty. She acknowledges that her father has authority although she would like sometimes to be “the boss”. Particularly, she feels lonely when Ruairidh is not present at her mother’s house. She goes swimming at Gleneagles. She feels lonely if Ruairidh is not there to play with. She acknowledges that they sometimes argue, but she feels that Ruairidh is a good friend. She would rather that Ruairidh was present all the time for her. She is “a bit fed up” if Ruairidh is not there. She noted that, for example, she is not able to operate controls to television, videos and DVD’s etc, and Ruairidh is very competent at such things. She feels that sometimes when she is at Cloan and Ruairidh is not present it is “a little bit lonely”. She acknowledges there are sometimes other boys and girls to play with from school. However, after school, it can be a bit lonely if Ruairidh is not present.
Rosalind feels she is getting on well with her mother. She also gets on well with her father. She also gets on well with “Granny Grossart” (paternal grandmother). She acknowledges that she likes the puppies at Pitlour. She feels that her life is going forward quite satisfactorily, but she sometimes changes her mind about which parent she would rather stay with. She feels the situation is difficult, but is generally acceptable. Rosalind feels that the difficult parts of her life are when her mother and father lose their tempers. She commented spontaneously that her mother had put her father’s telephone down a drain “then in poo”, which meant her father was not able to retrieve his phone. Rosalind stated that she observed this incident and she was crying because she did not like it. Her father was very cross because of his phone. She thought that her mother was “fine” and “liked putting the phone down the drain”. Rosalind understood that her mother thought that “Daddy was telling a lot of lies but that was not true”. Rosalind felt that her account of this incident typified the “problem” between her mother and father. Rosalind commented that she felt “quite bad” when these events occur. She wants it all to stop. She does not like her parents fighting. She would like them to be polite to each other.
Rosalind is clear that neither her mother nor her father want her to be upset. She knows that they both love her. She knows that they still love her even though they shout at her sometimes. She knows that parents shouting at children is not particularly worrying and that is “ordinary”. Her major difficulty is when her mother and father shout at each other. She wishes that they had not separated, but knows that they have done so and are unlikely to reunite.
Rosalind feels that the present arrangements for herself are “kind of okay”, but she would like to change some parts. She was clear that nobody had told her what to say, and that her comments reflected her own feelings about these matters. She notes that she feels that things have calmed down in her family and are generally better, so all involved are feeling happier. However, her most important comment is that she wishes that Ruairidh were always with her. That is the single most important point she would wish to make.
In response to her request for 3 wishes she suggested: -
1) A new toy with wheels (described),
2) A lighting up scooter, and
3) She would like to have everything pleasant and calm.
On her second visit, Rosalind presented in a manner very similar to that described above. She was relaxed, happy and contented. She indicated that she felt well and happy, and that it was “nearly the summer holidays”. She now knew that her teacher after the summer would be Mrs Wood. Rosalind was happy with that arrangement and she likes her new teacher.
Rosalind described various events. She felt that school was pleasant. She was looking forward to horse riding. She notes she is learning to play golf in Auchterarder, and described the various activities.
Rosalind reiterated that she feels a bit lonely when Ruairidh is not present. It would be better for her if Ruairidh were present all the time. She likes his companionship. She feels somewhat restricted in what she can do if Ruairidh is not present. She feels she derives more pleasure from activities when Ruairidh is present.
Rosalind confirmed that she is happy when at the houses of both her mother and her father. Rosalind likes the presence of her older sisters. She noted that she will look after the puppy of her older sister Cathleen (who will be called Tristen) because her older sister is going around the world.
Rosalind indicated that when she is older she would wish to own a black sports car with a number plate “Hot Babe”.
Rosalind knows that she is spending part of her summer holiday with her father and others in Madeira. She will ask her father how long they are going for. She thinks she might miss her mother “a bit”. She notes that she and Ruairidh like being at both of their parents’ houses. Rosalind commented that she would like to stay with her mother and father “2 weeks together”. She feels that then her parents would “not make a fuss”. Hence, her suggestion was she should spend 2 weeks with her father and then 2 weeks with her mother. She commented that she had thought of this arrangement herself. She likes using the telephone. She felt that this arrangement would be quite satisfactory for her so long as she could use the telephone to speak to the absent parent. She felt that would be quite sustainable as long as telephone contact with the absent parent was regular, and there was no disruption to the telephone activities.
Rosalind thinks that both of her parents may become cross and will shout if the children do not do as they are asked. However, she prefers to be asked quietly. She notes that sometimes her mother and father are cross with each other. She thinks that her parents try to keep away from each other because they argue. She does not like that. Neither does Ruairidh. Both children think it is “not nice”. She comments that each of her parents wish to behave better than the other (“like children”). Rosalind made this comment with some humour.
Rosalind’s confirms that both Mhoraig and Cathleen are very important people to her. Similarly are her paternal grandparents. She also reiterated that she wishes to be with Ruairidh all the time. She likes her father’s new girlfriend Kara. She also likes Kara’s son Ollie.
Rosalind completed a cheerful and colourful picture, which appeared age appropriate in content and execution. Her writing is clear and legible.
Conclusion.
In response to the Interlocutor dated 1st March 2007, I have carried out various investigations to review the arrangements for the residence and care of the children Ruairidh Grossart and Rosalind Grossart. I answer the points raised by the Remit: -
(a) Whether the original recommendations insofar as they have been implemented are securing the best interests of each of the children.
The current arrangements, which broadly reflect the original recommendations of the report dated 10th September 2006, have been in place for an appreciable period. Hence, the implications of those arrangements for each of the children are apparent. Both Ruairidh and Rosalind have a current understanding of the routine structure of their domestic and academic lives, and also involvement with the maternal and paternal sides of their family. Both children are more settled than previously, and have matured in the interval since the previous report was prepared. Neither child shows signs of significant disturbance. The doubts and preoccupations of the children, described above, are common to children within this age group following parental separation, and particularly when the children are aware of acrimony between their parents. There is also frequently noted deterioration in relative terms in academic performance. The comments reported above originating from Ruairidh on his relative difficulties of concentration and application reflect accurately the comments of many children in such family circumstances.
Thus, in my view, the broad structure of arrangements for the children, allowing significant residential time with each parent in turn, and also with the children spending much time living together, was the most appropriate model to secure the children’s best interests in developmental and emotional terms. The same comments apply to an emphasis on the children’s need for continued easy and regular contact with their extended families on both sides. In summary, it appears that the principles applied to proposals implemented were broadly correct.
(b) Whether the original recommendations might be altered, and if so in what manner, to secure the best interests of each of the children.
Not withstanding the comments in response to point (a) of the remit above, the present investigation has given rise to specific matters. Firstly, is the quite consistently expressed comment by Rosalind to the effect of missing her brother Ruairidh when he is not present. Rosalind has been clear in no uncertain terms of her reluctance to be separated from Ruairidh, and the importance he holds for her. In addition, Rosalind is significantly older than when previously assessed, and also has an increased awareness of the reality of her extended family circumstances. It is likely that she is more able than previously to tolerate, and cope with, separations from her mother. I would therefore respectfully suggest that consideration be given to the possibility of the children living together with each parent, based on an alternation of two week periods. That is, for the avoidance of doubt, both children should spend, essentially, together, two weeks with one parent, followed by two weeks with the other parent on a continued alternating basis. In so far as practical calendar arrangements allow, this should be the pattern within school term time. Further, I would suggest that handovers continue to occur on a Friday after school time so as to allow the children to settle into their current environment before the following school week begins. The intention is that, if this alternative arrangement is put in place, Rosalind’s expressed request for Ruairidh’s more frequent presence could be given relatively high priority and accommodated. I am, however, also aware of Rosalind’s still relatively young age, and attachment to her mother. Hence, if the above arrangement is put in place as the major pattern of the children’s alternate residences, I suggest that Rosalind should spend the day with her mother on the Saturday or Sunday of the second weekend in the cycle that the child spent essentially in the care of her father. I acknowledge Rosalind’s growing maturity, but feel it will be prudent for Rosalind to be able to “touch base” with Mrs Grossart during that time of separation. Such an arrangement would also allow Ruairidh some exclusive time with his father.
I am aware that other, more intricate, possibilities of timetabling may be possible. However, I think it important that the arrangements may be easily understood and predictable by the children themselves.
The second matter arising concerns Ruairidh’s wish, albeit acknowledging whatever residential cycle may be in place at the time, to be present for specific events, usually with Mr Grossart, in connection with sporting activities. This appears important to Ruairidh. From Ruairidh’s own account, these events may start from a Friday evening and continue through a weekend. I understand these events may, particularly, occur in the autumn and early winter periods. I suggest that specific arrangements are made, well in advance if possible, for Ruairidh to be able to attend such events in the company of his father. This should occur, even if the specific occasions are exceptions out with the normal timetable for residence of the children. It will be seen that over a longer, say yearly, period, that there will be an approaching balance in the time when Rosalind is exclusively in her mother’s company, and Ruairidh is in the company of Mr Grossart on the occasions of such fixtures. It is intended that these revised arrangements should go some way to accommodating the consistently articulated concerns and requests of both children currently.
(c) What specific steps might be taken by each of the parties to promote the successful functioning of the practical arrangements in respect of the care of each of the children having regard to their best interests.
Both Ruairidh and Rosalind have indicated clearly that they are aware of matters of atmosphere and behaviour in the conduct of each of their parents, and also the interactions between their parents. As has been commented previously, children’s perceptions of continued conflict between their parents is a strong prognostic indicator for unhappiness or maladjustment in the children themselves when older. Such perceptions of conflict on the children’s part should be avoided to the full extent possible. Hence, one would strongly suggest that the parties should take extreme care not to run down or denigrate the other parent, or parental extended family, in front of the children. Similarly, it would be helpful to the children if there were no emotional outbursts or exhibitions of uncontrolled behaviour by parents in front of the children.
The topic has arisen of possible educational underachievement on the part of both of the children. Clearly with the children operating between alternate households, there is considerable potential for “slippage” in terms of practical management of academic matters such as homework and extended revision strategies. It would seem helpful if there could be some discussion and, if possible, agreement, between the parents on policies of academic expectation and management of continuing academic functioning. Clearly this raises the wider topic of some form of parental communication and cooperation. There may well be other reasons for underachievement on the children’s part, given the relative recency of parental separation. However, as indicated by the school staff, a uniformity of approach would be likely to act in a direction of mitigating the children’s current difficulties. In addition, in terms of school performance, there is the obvious matter of appropriate time keeping for the children’s arrival at school in the morning.
In general, handovers of the children on school premises, when possible and appropriate, may lend a constraining influence. In addition, one notes the comments of staff to the probable benefits for Rosalind of being involved in various extra curricula activities in a school context.
Telephone contact for both of the children with both their mother and their father, when appropriate, seems important to both Ruairidh and Rosalind. One would emphasise this importance to both parents. In addition, it might be useful to reconsider realistic arrangements for such telephone conversations to take place, and practical periods of availability of both parents and the children.
One would emphasise the desirability of consistency of expectations and management between parental home establishments. One would also commend the desirability for some flexibility of arrangements over time, and the benefits for the children of both Ruairidh and Rosalind being able to recognise and acknowledge such flexibility on their parents’ parts. It would be desirable in due course for there to be some viable avenue for discussion by Mr and Mrs Grossart on matters of common interest concerning the children.
Professor James Furnell
Consultant Clinical Psychologist.
No comments:
Post a Comment